Cain
July 14th, 2006, 07:21 AM
Even though some Discordian hieroglyphics date older than four thousand years ago, it is believed that the ritual spells and incantations recorded in the earliest versions of the Book of the Cabbage papyruses had been used centuries before. The Ancients placed a very great importance on the symbolism of the afterlife. This is shown through their buriel rites such as mummification, lavishly decorated tombs, the 'protective' survival spells written on papyrus.
There was also a you-do doll (a figurine who will be your golem-slave in the afterlife) for those more crafty people who are deceased. The you-do doll will do all the hard, grueling work while it's master will live in the lap of Slack, enjoying all the benifits the afterlife may hold.
To reach Atlantis, your ka (vital life force) and your ba (psi-key) would set out in Aneris’ cargo which crosses the river of the sky during the day to get to the West. You are to then go through five gates (each with a gatekeeper, a watcher, a herald and two other guys who pretty much just loiter) whose names you must learn to invoke to open. Next you must greet the many portals of the house of Eris before they will open to let you pass. You are then "full of udder nonsense and clad in black and white checkered garments and sandels, eyes painted in black and covered with purple sunglasses."
Siruis (a faithful dog and leader of the ba) will then escort you to the Hall of Irony. You will be given the chance to plead your case for your former and continuing existence (This pleading business never works. Only those who can improvise really irratic, rambling rants sem to make it through). Aneris serves as a prosecutor. Eris, accompanied by St. Gulik and some lawn gnomes, acts as judge. He who has no name (Eris’ brother) squats below the Scales of Justice, and eventually places your heart on the scales to weigh against it’s reflection.
If your heart sinks low under the burden of regret, the fnords will gobble it up and your history, leaving you to dwell in the realm of Thud!
While many of the cabbages took these stories literaly, chaoist adepts used them as operation manuals, improving the response and performance of their vehicles.
Taken from the Zenarchists Cookbook
There was also a you-do doll (a figurine who will be your golem-slave in the afterlife) for those more crafty people who are deceased. The you-do doll will do all the hard, grueling work while it's master will live in the lap of Slack, enjoying all the benifits the afterlife may hold.
To reach Atlantis, your ka (vital life force) and your ba (psi-key) would set out in Aneris’ cargo which crosses the river of the sky during the day to get to the West. You are to then go through five gates (each with a gatekeeper, a watcher, a herald and two other guys who pretty much just loiter) whose names you must learn to invoke to open. Next you must greet the many portals of the house of Eris before they will open to let you pass. You are then "full of udder nonsense and clad in black and white checkered garments and sandels, eyes painted in black and covered with purple sunglasses."
Siruis (a faithful dog and leader of the ba) will then escort you to the Hall of Irony. You will be given the chance to plead your case for your former and continuing existence (This pleading business never works. Only those who can improvise really irratic, rambling rants sem to make it through). Aneris serves as a prosecutor. Eris, accompanied by St. Gulik and some lawn gnomes, acts as judge. He who has no name (Eris’ brother) squats below the Scales of Justice, and eventually places your heart on the scales to weigh against it’s reflection.
If your heart sinks low under the burden of regret, the fnords will gobble it up and your history, leaving you to dwell in the realm of Thud!
While many of the cabbages took these stories literaly, chaoist adepts used them as operation manuals, improving the response and performance of their vehicles.
Taken from the Zenarchists Cookbook