inkywitch
June 6th, 2007, 04:44 AM
As I read more about Asatru and Heathenry I notice that kin, family, friends and community are quite large parts of it. As are respect and courtesy.
I've noticed on a lot of Asatru LJ communities I lurk about that many people say you should respect you parents, they gave you life, etc.
I found it a little humorous that the community I had similar opinion to was called 'badheathens", lol.
I show my parents courtesy, just as I show anyone else I meet. Respect however, is something that I severely think is earned. Regardless of family ties or not. This is one major reason that arguments break out between my parents and I when my father 'demands respect because he is my father', yet this is usually when he is down right being rude, dis-courteous and showing me know respect at all. My mother usually chimes in with the, "He is your FATHER" speech. I'm an adult now, and I have my mind quite set on 'respect is earned not given' stance.
We're not entirely dysfunctional as a family unit. Alright, we kind of are. But not in an obvious way. My parents are quite different people to what they where bringing my sister and I up. My father now is letting his business die out, is not supporting his wife, let alone any children left under his roof, all because of a computer game he is addicted to (his virtual reality is better than his reality, and he has no desire to change it), and my mothers once fiery and strong nature has fizzled out under his constant verbal put-downs ("in humor" as he says) and she has become depressed and almost zombie-like when she thinks no one is looking from looking after his like one would look after a new born.
These people my parents have become are not people I admire. I am courteous and give thanks where thanks is due, don't get me wrong. I hold some love for the people they are deep down, or the people they were (especially my mother), but they have become so toxic and have no wish to do anything but live as they are and wish for death that I hold no respect for them anymore. I love them as my parents, but not as people. As people, I dislike them.
From people I have talked with and some sites I have read and lurked "good family ties" seem to be an important part of Asatru/Heathen life. Honoring/Respecting ancestors and elders, also. Blood (as in family) seems to be held in very high regard too.
My partner I consider family, we have no children at the moment so it's the two of us for now. He is non-religious currently and spirituality is not something we share, though common morals and ethics we do.
So where does one such as myself stand where most of my family is dysfunctional? And does being solitary for lack of like-minded community and family being involved in similar spirituality... I've pretty much lost my point after all the mind wandering and rambling. :lol: Yup, there it goes... I lost it.
I've noticed on a lot of Asatru LJ communities I lurk about that many people say you should respect you parents, they gave you life, etc.
I found it a little humorous that the community I had similar opinion to was called 'badheathens", lol.
I show my parents courtesy, just as I show anyone else I meet. Respect however, is something that I severely think is earned. Regardless of family ties or not. This is one major reason that arguments break out between my parents and I when my father 'demands respect because he is my father', yet this is usually when he is down right being rude, dis-courteous and showing me know respect at all. My mother usually chimes in with the, "He is your FATHER" speech. I'm an adult now, and I have my mind quite set on 'respect is earned not given' stance.
We're not entirely dysfunctional as a family unit. Alright, we kind of are. But not in an obvious way. My parents are quite different people to what they where bringing my sister and I up. My father now is letting his business die out, is not supporting his wife, let alone any children left under his roof, all because of a computer game he is addicted to (his virtual reality is better than his reality, and he has no desire to change it), and my mothers once fiery and strong nature has fizzled out under his constant verbal put-downs ("in humor" as he says) and she has become depressed and almost zombie-like when she thinks no one is looking from looking after his like one would look after a new born.
These people my parents have become are not people I admire. I am courteous and give thanks where thanks is due, don't get me wrong. I hold some love for the people they are deep down, or the people they were (especially my mother), but they have become so toxic and have no wish to do anything but live as they are and wish for death that I hold no respect for them anymore. I love them as my parents, but not as people. As people, I dislike them.
From people I have talked with and some sites I have read and lurked "good family ties" seem to be an important part of Asatru/Heathen life. Honoring/Respecting ancestors and elders, also. Blood (as in family) seems to be held in very high regard too.
My partner I consider family, we have no children at the moment so it's the two of us for now. He is non-religious currently and spirituality is not something we share, though common morals and ethics we do.
So where does one such as myself stand where most of my family is dysfunctional? And does being solitary for lack of like-minded community and family being involved in similar spirituality... I've pretty much lost my point after all the mind wandering and rambling. :lol: Yup, there it goes... I lost it.