Austeja
December 30th, 2007, 06:47 PM
A little helpful energy to my mom, brother and myself please.
My mom is a 50-something retired art teacher. For 30 years, she went to school and rarely if ever was sick.
Within the past 5 years, her eyesight has tanked, she was diagnosed with MS, in March she had a heart attack, that messed up her short term memory, in June she had a seizure, in October (one day after I returned home from having my son) she fell and hit her head requiring staples, then days before Christmas she had a seizure in front of me and my friend (who was a nurse).
Each time she has an episode, it robs her of her memory, she repeats herself, it makes her confused, and she gets frustrated that she can see the word or what she is talking about is on the tip of her tongue but its just not coming. She gets bummed out that she cant see, and that she has MS and that this is all happening to a woman who just 10 years ago was as healthy as a horse.
It takes a lot out on my brother and I too.
I have been the caretaker & lynch pin. It's stressful enough being a new parent, but dealing with your own parent's serious health issues while going through it all.
I would be so fearful, and let my mom’s illness rule my life. I have since started to take Buspar to control my anxiety about everything happening in my life. I seriously fear hearing from my brother. I choke down asking him "What’s wrong?" when I answer the phone. I don’t go far without my phone. It’s always in the same room with me, just in case. With in the last month or so, I have started to ease up and realize what will happen, will happen. Nothing that you are doing in this life is causing what is happening to her. (Yeah - I did think that for a while - I actually thought that God was angry at me for studying things here - so it was taken out on my mom. I stopped coming here, stopped carrying my tarot cards, packed away my altar… everything.)
My brother who is 7 years younger then I has taken the brunt of
"Why aren't you helping her more? Why don’t you get a job?"
He is angry because he can’t do anything right in the eyes of our friends. But it’s not fair to him. He’s 21, we lost our Dad 10 years ago to complications due to diabetes. No one should have to go through loosing a parent... let alone loosing one, and watching the other one in a hospital bed and no one know why.
But if she goes, he only has me - and I'm now married and have a child of my own - so he’s a little on the outside. I try and let him know that I will always stand up for him, and will be there for him. He says he knows… but sometimes you let that voice talk louder then it should.
So please. A bit of energy
For my mom - so that they can figure out what’s going on, so we can deal with it - not worrying if we go to sleep will she be with us in the morning?
For my brother - so that he can find the balance he needs so that he can not worry about getting a job and leaving her at home.
For me - so I can balance everyone else - and not crumble under the stress of being a caretaker of my mom/brother/husband/son/self... and know that what ever I do – its not causing her to be sick.
My mom is a 50-something retired art teacher. For 30 years, she went to school and rarely if ever was sick.
Within the past 5 years, her eyesight has tanked, she was diagnosed with MS, in March she had a heart attack, that messed up her short term memory, in June she had a seizure, in October (one day after I returned home from having my son) she fell and hit her head requiring staples, then days before Christmas she had a seizure in front of me and my friend (who was a nurse).
Each time she has an episode, it robs her of her memory, she repeats herself, it makes her confused, and she gets frustrated that she can see the word or what she is talking about is on the tip of her tongue but its just not coming. She gets bummed out that she cant see, and that she has MS and that this is all happening to a woman who just 10 years ago was as healthy as a horse.
It takes a lot out on my brother and I too.
I have been the caretaker & lynch pin. It's stressful enough being a new parent, but dealing with your own parent's serious health issues while going through it all.
I would be so fearful, and let my mom’s illness rule my life. I have since started to take Buspar to control my anxiety about everything happening in my life. I seriously fear hearing from my brother. I choke down asking him "What’s wrong?" when I answer the phone. I don’t go far without my phone. It’s always in the same room with me, just in case. With in the last month or so, I have started to ease up and realize what will happen, will happen. Nothing that you are doing in this life is causing what is happening to her. (Yeah - I did think that for a while - I actually thought that God was angry at me for studying things here - so it was taken out on my mom. I stopped coming here, stopped carrying my tarot cards, packed away my altar… everything.)
My brother who is 7 years younger then I has taken the brunt of
"Why aren't you helping her more? Why don’t you get a job?"
He is angry because he can’t do anything right in the eyes of our friends. But it’s not fair to him. He’s 21, we lost our Dad 10 years ago to complications due to diabetes. No one should have to go through loosing a parent... let alone loosing one, and watching the other one in a hospital bed and no one know why.
But if she goes, he only has me - and I'm now married and have a child of my own - so he’s a little on the outside. I try and let him know that I will always stand up for him, and will be there for him. He says he knows… but sometimes you let that voice talk louder then it should.
So please. A bit of energy
For my mom - so that they can figure out what’s going on, so we can deal with it - not worrying if we go to sleep will she be with us in the morning?
For my brother - so that he can find the balance he needs so that he can not worry about getting a job and leaving her at home.
For me - so I can balance everyone else - and not crumble under the stress of being a caretaker of my mom/brother/husband/son/self... and know that what ever I do – its not causing her to be sick.