Emotional Abundance

[brymble]

I posting this in advanced Paganism, because I believe it is an advanced topic. The Shadow work that acknowledges growth through challenge, and the redefining or reframing of topics such as abundance and prosperity do require experience beyond the basics, as they are built upon them.

On both a personal and professional level, I have been putting increased attention on the meeting of needs as a part of the process of transforming dysfunction and moving towards wholeness and higher consciousness. It is recognized in many systems of healing, psychology and spirituality that dysfunctional behavior has its roots in an attempt to meet a need, albeit in a way that is damaging or at least not very helpful on a long-term, practical level.

The specific situation that inspired me to make this post was a Tarot reading I did for myself in regards to some long-term spiritual work I've been doing regarding abundance, prosperity, manifesting and my ability to meet needs on an earthy, physical level. It has come to my attention that my pattern has been to sacrifice or even sabotage the ability to meet physical needs in a dysfunctional attempt to meet emotional ones, kind of compensating for percieved emotional bankruptcy, having the effect of pitting the first and second chakras against each other in a classic pattern of codependency.

In my work I've begun reframing my concepts of abundance and prosperity, thinking of them not in terms of attaching to outcomes or specific means (such as money, traditional jobs, etc) but in the terms of the ability to meet needs. It's been helpful to me to consider the concept of abundance as the presence of resources to meet needs, and prosperity as the ability to effectively use those resources to accomplish desired goals.

This afternoon's reading has me thinking about the idea of emotional abundance and prosperity in those same terms. What if, rather than attracting or even receiving intimate relationships, one were to put one's energies into maintaining emotional abundance and prosperity?

I'm just curious to know everyone's thoughts on this.

[cheddarsox]

I am currently examining some things in my own life that I think are my version of what you describe.

Over the past two years I have left several communities that I was very active in. This includes two careers I had spent years building, four spiritual communities I was active in or the leader of, and some online groups as well.

When I look back the common thread is this...I was sacrificing myself, my own life, in a desire to belong...so sacrificing getting my physical needs met, in an effort to hang onto some emotional rewards...(title, sense of belonging, etc) I was tolerating poor treatment, abuse, lying, etc...and telling myself that it was "ok", that those people were needier than I, or didn't see things as deeply as I, or whatever, making excuses for them, so I could have some emotional sense of belonging.

Then I realized I wasn't doing anyone any favors by tolerating unhealthy situations, not good for me and my family, or for the people who were treating me that way. I could help everyone by speaking out for a higher standard of behavior. I could stop the sick economics...at least in my own life, by refusing to take part any more.

I am still in transition, but none the less, in a healthier place in many ways. I am learning afresh what abundance looks and feels like. What the price of my previous behaviors really was. I still feel a little lost, because old habits die hard.

In the old system, at least I knew my place. In this new system, I am still trying to find my feet.

Abundance can be the freedom to speak up for a higher standard, because one is no longer afraid of losing their place in the pecking order.

Abundance can be enjoying what I have, and what I earned honestly, because I am not expending so much energy trying to buy the acceptance of others.

Abundance can mean finding out who one's true friends are and thus not having to invest energy in the fake ones.

Abundance can mean choosing which risks I will take, rather than letting someone else map my way for me.

So, I left jobs that I was clinging to for emotional reasons as much as anything, and set off on a different path. I took a job only for financial reasons. It does not make any special use of my talents/gifts/interests, but the paycheck is always there.

And I am experiencing some of the prosperity I had built up, but had been ignoring while I ran myself silly at those jobs or leading those groups.

I have more than I realized, both emotionally and financially. I was so worried about losing the stuff, that I didn't have any idea of what I had.

Before I had made things up to be really complex, but now I am letting them be simple. I go to work, I do my job, I get paid. I buy things I need/want. I spend my free time with the people whom I love, or doing activities that matter to me.

Before I lived in this complicated web of "shoulds" of sacrifices, of equating giving of myself with personal value. I kept living as though there were some invisible bank of good deeds I was making deposits on up in the sky. I kept thinking that someday I could exchange those good deeds for cash and take care of myself. But it doesn't work that way. The exchange rate is really poor.
Pennies on the dollar at best.

[BearDancing]

I have chosen to leave some/most relationships because of sacrificing my true beliefs...especially since I moved to the country where there are many very closed minded that are not on a path of spiritual progress...living the mundane and very shallow...it is very hard when you love someone to let them go because the relationship is on an unhealthy path...(it was unhealthy for me to be so stifled ) and it is sooo true...I am realilsing how much I do have and I am concentrating on manifesting a whole new path for myself....I guess by letting go of the unhealthy left me more time to work on creating a life with more abundance and actually enjoying that abundance...newly manifested and what I already had in my life.....