Solitary or Coven?

[Citana]

I posted a similar poll in the newbie section, but I was wondering how the results might differ for those more experienced. Do you prefer solitary study/practice or coven/group study and practice? Are you currently involved in a solitary or group experience? If they differ, why?

[cyndianna]

I like to work with a combination of both solitary work and group study. I belong to a goddess coven that, for me is strictly for fellowship.

I work with another ecclectic coven for fellowship, and occassional workings for world peace, political action, healings, etc.

I work with my husband occasionally when we have problems that arise that need action.

I circle with my children as well. We call this family circle time.

I have a dear friend who I work my more serious work with and we also get together weekly for meditation and tarot/scrying/ rune work.

I do private worship on my own almost daily.
I do craft and kitchen work alone. It works better for me that wa

[evergreen]

I'm a solitary.

However, I picked "Unsure" because I have never worked with a coven and would like to. Just isn't really a possibility for me right now.

[Louisvillian]

I posted a similar poll in the newbie section, but I was wondering how the results might differ for those more experienced. Do you prefer solitary study/practice or coven/group study and practice? Are you currently involved in a solitary or group experience? If they differ, why?
Solitary. I don't quite like group activities. :toofless:
I mean, I've never been in a coven setting, so, I wouldn't know if it's better or whatever. But I generally am more amenable to remaining a Solitary Wiccan. Further, finding a coven that's not uptight traditional, and obtaining initiation into a coven, are probably beyond my means and time.

[Rudas Starblaze]

i prefer solitary.

i dont work well with others and people generally annoy me.

[Lunacie]

I enjoy working with a group. It's much more enjoyable to dance around the bonfire with others, or have more than just my voice singing the chants. But the discussions are far and away the best part, getting feedback to my own opinions, and hearing the opinions of others really opens my mind to the infinite possibilities.

I'm very lucky that I have found a more "laid back" group who don't all insist on doing things a particular way. We enjoy trying different things, pushing ourselves to try new things, learning new things.

Sadly, because of my chronic Migraine disorder, I have only been able to get together with the gang once in the last 4 months. I do wish I could find a viable treatment so we can get back to meeting every other Saturday.

[MonSno_LeeDra]

I wonder if your results will not be schewed by the usuage of the word "Coven" as a descriptor? When I hear the word I tend to think of a Wiccan or Witchcraft inspired grouping.

As a product of a Family Tradition, we were not a coven but a family group. To even make that assumption was an error for the group was not Wiccan. It was always refered to as just the family. Yet even that to some extent is incorrect, for as we chose our respective paths the path would often pull us from the family grouping except to the extent of large family events.

For myself I follow a Shamanic / Greenwitch type path that is always a walk alone. There are no covens for our ability is individual with how we interact with the elements and spirits. While we may speak to other's to obtain views and idea's the final act is us alone.

[Fiamma]

I wonder if your results will not be schewed by the usuage of the word "Coven" as a descriptor? When I hear the word I tend to think of a Wiccan or Witchcraft inspired grouping.

Yup, this.

"Coven" is a specific group format. there are others.

Also, what about people who do both?

I'm a member of a grove of ADF. I'm also a Hellenic Polytheist/Devotee of Apollo who does very different things on my own from what goes on in the grove. I'm not as involved now as I used to be, but for a while there, I was essentially practicing two religions simultaneously. Right now, I'm trying to figure out where I stand.

[Lunacie]

I wonder if your results will not be schewed by the usuage of the word "Coven" as a descriptor? When I hear the word I tend to think of a Wiccan or Witchcraft inspired grouping.



Huh, I didn't even pay that much attention to the thread title. I always read the opening post before posting in a poll to make sure I know what question I'm answering. In the opening post the choice was made clear between solitary practice and coven/group practice. Guess the OP could have included "slash-group" in the thread title though. I'm sure she can ask an Admin to make that small change for her.

[Sionnach le Fey]

I picked the 'unsure' option, because I've never worked in a group.

I would like to one day, though. I guess it's just a matter of finding like-minded people.

[Cloaked Raven]

Unsure.... To my knowledge, there is no one else on my path in my area at all so I'm solitary practitioner on my path right now. I've always wanted to get a group going and see how it would be though.

[Deerwoman]

As I put in the new pagan forum (http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3870642#post3870642), I prefer a combination of solitary, group work, and one-on-one teacher to student.

For those who have never or are thinking of joining a coven or group, I've seen both horrible covens who dissolve quickly and successful large covens that have been hived off multiple times, but who still all get together on a regular basis like family. It really depends on the group or coven leader and the personalities of the individuals. If you're thinking of joining a coven, remember that the coven must fit YOU, not the other way around. Most covens will treat those interested in joining as job applicants and will interview them - use this time to interview them back about their coven's beliefs, how they all get along, how regularly they meet, if leadership is permanent or based on group elections... what you desire to find in a coven. Do not let any coven demean you, tell you what or who you should be, and what you are and are not allowed to do. These are warning factors for cults. If you get dedicated into a tradition and a coven, but they scare you or are generally nasty people, you can always walk away.

[Lunacie]

As I put in the new pagan forum (http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3870642#post3870642), I prefer a combination of solitary, group work, and one-on-one teacher to student.

For those who have never or are thinking of joining a coven or group, I've seen both horrible covens who dissolve quickly and successful large covens that have been hived off multiple times, but who still all get together on a regular basis like family. It really depends on the group or coven leader and the personalities of the individuals. If you're thinking of joining a coven, remember that the coven must fit YOU, not the other way around. Most covens will treat those interested in joining as job applicants and will interview them - use this time to interview them back about their coven's beliefs, how they all get along, how regularly they meet, if leadership is permanent or based on group elections... what you desire to find in a coven. Do not let any coven demean you, tell you what or who you should be, and what you are and are not allowed to do. These are warning factors for cults. If you get dedicated into a tradition and a coven, but they scare you or are generally nasty people, you can always walk away.

Excellent advice. :smile:

[Invidosa]

Actually, I would have to say “other”

I run a small coven, very close knit family type group. We celebrate the holidays together, and participate in group learning, share resources, and I am available for consultation at any time, (and am frequently consulted) but most of our “working” is done in a solitary fashion. Unless it’s something major, or outside of the depth of one member. Full/New moons are spent working alone more often then not, but we do get together once a month to share information and work on whatever project we have going (we try to keep the cupboard well stocked, so we get together to mix teas, prepare candles etc.)

[Darkest Eve]

I prefer to work as a solitary... or as a pair with my SO when the need arises. I will work with other people when asked to do so, but I am rarely the one doing the asking.

[MidnightFire]

i dont work well with others and people generally annoy me.

I'm with Rudas on this. I never have been a people person.

[Citana]

I wonder if your results will not be schewed by the usuage of the word "Coven" as a descriptor? When I hear the word I tend to think of a Wiccan or Witchcraft inspired grouping.

sorry about the confusion on the word choice.

There's not enough room in each selector to have done "coven/group" each time I stated "coven," unfortunately, and since there is a plethora of ways people define their 'groups,' it seemed at the time that "coven" was the most generic term on my mind (I have had people prefer I don't use the term 'group,' as it denotes a lesser than spiritual gathering, or implies something sexual in nature). And so, there it is. Sorry for the confusion again, I will see what I can do about that. I'll post another thread re: what your group is referred to as.

Most people who respond will know what I am referring to though, hopefully, and is why I clarified it by my original statement/post when I started the thread.

Thanks for the feedback though! It's been great so far!

[~Audra~]

ditto what rudas said...and besides, i can't find a gothic pagan coven...not a soul who shares my interests/beliefs...

[nebetmiw]

Since I have been on both sides of this fence many times. I can say I perfer solitary to group. Can not stand the BS that goes on in groups. I have been in 3 different groups from wiccan to druid.

[Citana]

Of those who have been involved in a group environment, but no longer are due to group dynamics, "bs," etc. I would like to know what had originally attracted you to a group environment, and if that would still bring you to a group if those negative dynamics weren't an issue, basically, if you found a group that fit.

[Lunacie]

Of those who have been involved in a group environment, but no longer are due to group dynamics, "bs," etc. I would like to know what had originally attracted you to a group environment, and if that would still bring you to a group if those negative dynamics weren't an issue, basically, if you found a group that fit.

Hmm, I wonder if some aren't cheating themselves of the coven/group experience by holding out for a "perfect fit" rather than a fit that's close enough to work with? When my first group broke apart and then reformed, the dynamics changed and became too rigid for me to work with. Sadly, I don't do well with solitary practice and felt really lost for quite a while.

I searched far and wide for another group to join, rejecting one group that felt it was necessary to follow the government formula for a "church", and rejecting another that seemed to want to stamp out all individuality, making everyong in the group a clone of the leaders. Then I found a group with a good heart and spirit. The leader and I bumped heads a few times as I actually had more training and experience than she did, but she was willing to take on the role of leader and I was not ready at that time.

So... not a perfect fit, but I was able to work with them and was motivated to learn more and developed a close bond with most of the group members. Nearly six years later, several of us are still together, been over some bumps and through some potholes, and we don't agree on everything. But we might become complacent if we didn't challenge each other's beliefs and prejudices every now and then, eh?

[Cobalt]

Since a big part of choosing a "path" for me is deciding whether it's a cultural force or system that I want to participate in (and some perfectly nifty and valuable religions will not be), it would be hard for me to answer that question without observing and interacting with a group of people in a religious context.

Certainly coven practice is not objectively better than solitary practice. It just happens to be what helps me answer this important question.

[Citana]

...been over some bumps and through some potholes, and we don't agree on everything. But we might become complacent if we didn't challenge each other's beliefs and prejudices every now and then, eh?

This is well put. There is not magic number, or group that will materialize because you have a particular ideal you want to form. Of course you need to be able to mesh at least well enough to work together, and BOND is a key element. Many approach group workings with a very non-commital air about the subject. But if you want to work in a group successfully, everyone has to have a certain level of commitment and desire for the group to function, and faith in the others within the group.

[Astara Seague]

as I said in your other poll, Im a bit of both, I practice solitary but also work with a coven
but more often.. I prefer working alone

[Darth Brooks]

I wonder if your results will not be schewed by the usuage of the word "Coven" as a descriptor? When I hear the word I tend to think of a Wiccan or Witchcraft inspired grouping.

We use the word coven in my tradition, but we are not Wiccans. Though we do not always use the term, we do think of ourselves as "witches" in a sense, though we do not worship a Goddess. Since the European witch hysterias have particularly influenced our teleology, we see no reason why we shouldn't use the term, but some people I have met have claimed that we have no right to it (baloney). Is there a better, more general term that pagans can use for group worship, other than "coven"?


Actually, I would have to say “other”

I run a small coven, very close knit family type group. We celebrate the holidays together, and participate in group learning, share resources, and I am available for consultation at any time, (and am frequently consulted) but most of our “working” is done in a solitary fashion. Unless it’s something major, or outside of the depth of one member. Full/New moons are spent working alone more often then not, but we do get together once a month to share information and work on whatever project we have going (we try to keep the cupboard well stocked, so we get together to mix teas, prepare candles etc.)

Yup that's pretty much what we are like too, we get together for holidays and stuff but on the whole we're usually solitary more often than not.


sorry about the confusion on the word choice.

There's not enough room in each selector to have done "coven/group" each time I stated "coven," unfortunately, and since there is a plethora of ways people define their 'groups,' it seemed at the time that "coven" was the most generic term on my mind (I have had people prefer I don't use the term 'group,' as it denotes a lesser than spiritual gathering, or implies something sexual in nature). And so, there it is. Sorry for the confusion again, I will see what I can do about that. I'll post another thread re: what your group is referred to as.

Most people who respond will know what I am referring to though, hopefully, and is why I clarified it by my original statement/post when I started the thread.

Thanks for the feedback though! It's been great so far!

Unfortunately I don't think you really could have chosen a better word than "coven," I mean I certainly understand your choice of words here. But maybe there is a better word out there that I am not able to think of right now.

[Philosophia]

I prefer solitary because I'm not huge on people and groups. Plus, I've been on this path for awhile now and it'll be difficult to find a group that encompasses most of my beliefs.

[Windsmith]

I do my daily practice and other "big projects" (currently my Elemental Attunement) solitary. Esbats and Sabbats I share with my "twoven" - that's myself and my wife. We're starting to get together around Sabbats also with two friends of ours, and I'm not sure how that's going to evolve. To this point, they've just been getting together for some good food and wine and chatting about what the season means to us. I think folks are leaning towards getting a bit more structured, but we're wary of becoming "a coven." Not that we have anything against covens per se, but we've experienced them before, and that level of structure would not work so well for us.

I love doing both; it provides an excellent system of checks and balances. When I work on my own, I can do whatever, say whatever (out loud or in my head), experience whatever, without having to check myself for whether I'm upsetting anyone or putting an undue burden on the group. But meeting with the group (even when "the group" is just my wife) semi-regularly gives me an opportunity to check myself and make sure that being left to my own devices hasn't sent me down a destructive, unproductive, or completely whack-a-doodle path.

[roguetamlin]

Of those who have been involved in a group environment, but no longer are due to group dynamics, "bs," etc. I would like to know what had originally attracted you to a group environment, and if that would still bring you to a group if those negative dynamics weren't an issue, basically, if you found a group that fit.

I was in a coven for almost a year, but had practiced on my own for 6 years up to that. And yes it was the bs of consensus vs. what the high priestess wants consensus to decide. The coven I was in was for people who wanted a hierarchy, but I had already been solitary and my practice is somewhat impromtu. However I do like working with groups, I like the group energy. Fortunately I live in a witch friendly area so it's easy to find groups I can go to as I desire or blow it off without criticism.

In the long run, I think it's better I did leave the coven because it allowed me to be friendly with the high priestess because she is very good just not my cup of tea. :hugz:

[Whitewolf]

I prefer to work with a group. I feel more comfortable doing rituals in a group setting. Sometimes [if I feel in the mood] I'll do small rituals on my own.

[cydira]

I'm generally indifferent to working solitary or with a coven. Some covens are pretty awesome and are wonderful fun to be a part of for a laundry list of reasons. Some covens are ... highly ineffective and tend towards being counterproductive, at best. (Yeah, I'm doing my best to be diplomatic right now. I'm not sure if members of that coven which I got into a rather huge argument are about here or not and I don't want it to get dragged into here.) As a solitary, it can be wonderful but it can also be very lonely.

*shrugs*

I do which ever works best for me at the time and is available.

[WolfyJames]

In my case, I definitively prefer being in a coven. I was a solitary for like 4 years and I was not really getting ahead, stuff like meditation, visualisation, I could not do any of these alone, and I thought I'd be too shy for a coven. Then I took a free basic course about Wicca, to see if I could learn anything new about it, it was free after all, and I totally loved it. I did learn a few things and I totally connected with one of the teachers.

Both teachers were offering a more advanced course about Wicca and I went with the one I bonded with. The course was again a year long and this time really about Celtic Shamanic Wicca, which strangely was exactly what I was looking for. During that year, I met other members of their coven and they were all nice and friendly. They really have opened me on all levels. The techniques they've used have really helped me with my blocages. You could make a demand at the end of the year to be in their coven or do your own stuff on your own as solitary.

I think the two courses and the open rituals are a great way to meet the people in the coven and see if you want to be with them, and them to see who you are and see if you would fit in their coven too. I really love it so far. Our HP said once that even if you are in a coven, you're still a solitary Wiccan because you have to do your own practices on your own too at home, my solitary work as gotten longer actually since I'm in the coven because we have a lot of homeworks to do at home by ourselves.

I really feel it is a wish come true for me to be in a coven with loving people and studying exactly what I've wanted to study.

[Meadhbh]

I do spend time with local pagans on a social level. But I really don't pratice with them. Simply because they are wiccan and I'm not. Nice folks but not my ritual cup of tea. I did pratice with a group when there was one closer by. I'm pretty comfortable to do either one. Its more what is in the area instead of what I have to do.

[Willowbark]

For the most part, I work solitary. I like being able to personalize my practice and have found very few people in my area that share similar beliefs to mine. I do occasionally go to community events but mostly to socialize.

[Russ]

I picked unsure as I haven't had a chance to work with a group.

However I believe both are needed. Solitary for ones own work and working in a Grove to really get the juicies flowing when a major working is needed.

I think sometimes we Pagans can be too individualistic for our own good, we need to learn how to work together in groups united for a common purpose.

[Citana]

Unfortunately I don't think you really could have chosen a better word than "coven," I mean I certainly understand your choice of words here. But maybe there is a better word out there that I am not able to think of right now.

Thanks for the positive feedback on that. I love our community and the emerging Pagan culture is fascinating to me (sociology/anthropology major), but sometimes (no meanness intended) we Pagans can be so finicky about terminology (understandably, it is common among emerging religions, historically speaking). 'tsall good, there are moments though when I just want to say, "you know that thingy... you know what I mean." LOL

[~Nixie]

The bulk of my work has been, and will probably continue to be, solitary. There are things that I feel I can only advance in myself, although the guidance or help from mentors and teachers are welcomed, and perhaps sometimes needed. I can't fit into somebody elses "boundaries" very well, or ways of doing things. Although I would not mind being in a group or coven, I think that I would just want to celebrate holidays with them, have rituals, etc...perhaps talk or meditate or do energy work, but I wouldn't want it to become my main spiritual outlet. That being said, if there was a group or coven nearby me that I was interested in, I'd probably want to talk to them in a heart beat.

[Calli]

I don't have any interest in covens, personally. Covens have rules, and getting away from other people's rules to find my own way has been a huge part of my path for a long time.

I'm not exactly solitary, either. My sister and I are a team. Yes, we both do work apart from one another, but we are most effective and most creative when we bounce things off one another. Just being in her home the other day, where we do our work, I found my brain opening up and things were occurring to me that were really fascinating.

Sometimes, we work with one or both of her sons, and my daughter is just beginning her practice, and will undoubtedly join us in the future. We prefer the term circle to the term coven. One of the reasons is we have no rules. All ideas are welcome and discussed, but we do all think along the same lines, so there's never been conflict. We also have tried to incorporate other pagan people we are friends with, but it never works. I think our circle is meant to be family only.

I'd love to meet more pagan people to socialize with, but I have had so many people try to tell me that my experiences aren't valid, and I'm tired of it. So I tend to shy away from even social contact.

[Lunacie]

I don't have any interest in covens, personally. Covens have rules, and getting away from other people's rules to find my own way has been a huge part of my path for a long time.

I'm not exactly solitary, either. My sister and I are a team. Yes, we both do work apart from one another, but we are most effective and most creative when we bounce things off one another. Just being in her home the other day, where we do our work, I found my brain opening up and things were occurring to me that were really fascinating.

Sometimes, we work with one or both of her sons, and my daughter is just beginning her practice, and will undoubtedly join us in the future. We prefer the term circle to the term coven. One of the reasons is we have no rules. All ideas are welcome and discussed, but we do all think along the same lines, so there's never been conflict. We also have tried to incorporate other pagan people we are friends with, but it never works. I think our circle is meant to be family only.

I'd love to meet more pagan people to socialize with, but I have had so many people try to tell me that my experiences aren't valid, and I'm tired of it. So I tend to shy away from even social contact.

I prefer the term Circle over Coven as well, and I think you explained the reasoning better than I've been able to. Any group needs a few basic rules, but in our group we all discuss things and so far haven't done anything that we didn't all agree on. And we don't tell anyone their personal experiences aren't valid, although we may say they don't mesh with what we've experienced or what we're looking to experience within the group.

[*oonagh*]

^
doesn't play well with others <g>.

[Nesta]

I don't have any interest in covens, personally. Covens have rules, and getting away from other people's rules to find my own way has been a huge part of my path for a long time.

I'm not exactly solitary, either. My sister and I are a team. Yes, we both do work apart from one another, but we are most effective and most creative when we bounce things off one another. Just being in her home the other day, where we do our work, I found my brain opening up and things were occurring to me that were really fascinating.

Sometimes, we work with one or both of her sons, and my daughter is just beginning her practice, and will undoubtedly join us in the future. We prefer the term circle to the term coven. One of the reasons is we have no rules. All ideas are welcome and discussed, but we do all think along the same lines, so there's never been conflict. We also have tried to incorporate other pagan people we are friends with, but it never works. I think our circle is meant to be family only.

I'd love to meet more pagan people to socialize with, but I have had so many people try to tell me that my experiences aren't valid, and I'm tired of it. So I tend to shy away from even social contact.

This is pretty much the same for me except that I always work alone. I've been to different Pagan events but I really don't think that a coven would be suitable for me. I can't see myself even trying it to be honest, it doesn't appeal to me at all.

Having said that my partner is expressing an interest and has shown an inclination for sharing a ritual with me. I just know I can work with him so I'm really looking forward to that.

[VioletJadeWolf]

Though I occasionally attend group rituals, most of my learning and practice is done independently.

[SkycladTiwaz]

Coven for me.

I find myself being a bit too lax in my observances if I am doing them by myself and to me a coven just feels right.

[~*Sacred*~]

Solitaire. My husband is Wiccan, and we want to do family craft things/traditions - but actual practicing my beliefs I'm very solitaire, it's very personal.

[TheLittleWitchy]

I have never been in a coven before, but chose solitary. I like to do most things by myself, so I guess this is no different. :hahugh:

[LunarSoldier]

I do rituals with my boyfriend. We also belong to a wider "coven" or pagan movement but we don't attend their moots. Its too far away.

[thought_on_a_wind]

I feel a group around me from various parts of the world that would profit well from our experiences and universal views... they communicate in a way with me, and vice versa... the closest I came was when I was in Albuquerque amidst a group of free thinkers... problem is even then I felt the pull of the solitary and would isolate myself every so often...

So in short, I picked the Solitary option because I've felt no click with physical group that I'd profit from and be able to embrace completely... so, until that group of us who are linked can meet physically I'll maintain my habitual solitude/tutoring I've come to embrace.

[electricpeppers]

Solitary, and I like it that way. What I practice is very personal so I have no need for other people.

[WildThing]

For years I've prefered solitary-ness. =o Took alot of pride in my "independence" from any groups. But recently I find myself become even more open minded than I was. I did participate in an online ritual...that is, a group practicing a ritual individually although still together via the internet and it was a very beautiful experience for me.
At this point, I'd love to try visiting a temple or checking out a few groups/covens, although I'm not sure that I won't stay solitary all the same, just occasionally participating.
It's all up in the air, atm. Anything could happen for me with this within this next year...and 2010? Gosh, I have no idea...but it's been a dominant thought on my mind lately.

[Louisvillian]

Solitaire. I'm very solitaire...
You're a...card game? :toofless:

[AmberMaiden]

I have done both and I am currently in a coven and I like the coven setting the best

[Wood Nymph]

I posted a similar poll in the newbie section, but I was wondering how the results might differ for those more experienced. Do you prefer solitary study/practice or coven/group study and practice? Are you currently involved in a solitary or group experience? If they differ, why?

I voted for the solitary preference.

First, I don't fit neatly into one category. I've never encountered a green/kitchen non-Wiccan coven.

Second, groups that try to be broader and less focused on one pagan viewpoint don't do anything for me, spiritually. I participated in a Unitarian Universalist pagan group for a short time some years ago, and it left me feeling cold.

Third, I feel most spiritually connected when doing things solo or with a family member - meditating, doing Reiki, or even just cooking or tending my garden or attending the birth of goat kids or watching the sun set or laying in the grass and watching a meteor shower ...

[~Belladonna~]

I used to want to find a Coven really bad when I first step foot upon my path but now I couldn't think of anything worse. I LOVE working solitary and wouldn't want to change or share my working style for anyone (call me selfish) but I just don't like the idea. Not to mention if I mess up a working, Ritual, Spell, etc. I don't have to worry about feeling a prize prat in front of others :D Not that I ever mess up ;)

No, solitary all the way for me.

[Lunacie]

I used to want to find a Coven really bad when I first step foot upon my path but now I couldn't think of anything worse. I LOVE working solitary and wouldn't want to change or share my working style for anyone (call me selfish) but I just don't like the idea. Not to mention if I mess up a working, Ritual, Spell, etc. I don't have to worry about feeling a prize prat in front of others :D Not that I ever mess up ;)

No, solitary all the way for me.

Everyone messes up sometime. Our group just laughs, and realized that the God and Goddess are laughing as well. Ya know, sometimes the funniest moments in a movie are watching the outtakes where someone messed up and they laugh along with everyone else. Please relax and don't take yourself so seriously. ;)

[sara hernandez]

I am solitary, the people that got together with move away and I dont know anyone that would like to do magickal work in agroup, I live in Urbana little town in Indiana and I got to much to learn that I wish that I have someone to exchange info. and experiinces please reply if you can help me.
Blessed be

[sara hernandez]

:mmm: I am a solitary, there is no one, that I know that practice around where I live, I would love to have somebody to exchange info. and experiances. have never been in a coven I think it will be a wonderfull experience to live. I just join this site and I love to read all the posted information it make me feel more normal and not an outcast because I don't have people that I can tolk about my beliefs.

[sara hernandez]

:mmm: I am a solitary, there is no one, that I know that practice around where I live, I would love to have somebody to exchange info. and experiances. have never been in a coven I think it will be a wonderfull experience to live. I just join this site and I love to read all the posted information it make me feel more normal and not an outcast because I don't have people that I can tolk about my beliefs.


what we think, we become.
Buddha

[orangeconey]

What I do, I do alone.

I don't really mind being solitary-definitely not enough to go looking for others. :) Ritual isn't a big part of my spirituality.

I have had times where I have wished that my man and I could perhaps do something spirit-inclined together. It doesn't seem to be a path worth pursuing though...I just get aggrieved when I have to come up with all the ideas. Add that to the list of "it's not his fault, but..."

I do have a feeling of wanting to connect with someone on that level, however. Groups just don't seem to be the way to go. And of course, I'd welcome friends. I'm just not the type of person that needs them all the time.

In summary-solitary. Coney walks this path alone. (well, perhaps with a few inanimate friends along for the ride...lol)

[Meadhbh]

I've never had to have a coven. I mean I have nothing againist them and have/would work with them if the situation arises. Of course the problem is the only one in a reason able distance that I know of is a very mix and match kind of tradition. Which isn't my things. But I'm content not having a set group of people. So I suppose I can go either way.

[Jesyka_Silverwolf]

I'm a solitary practitioner in the terms of not belonging to a coven. My husband and i work together on some things, and sometimes i work with other people, but i like doing things my own way and most of the time on my own.

[Scott Hill]

I didn't start any regular spiritual practices until eight or nine years ago. I was happy with my guides and with my practice, but I was lonely for the company of other humans. I joined an online "coven". Of course, looking at things in hindsight, I realize that this was just a social networking site. So I can't really say I've been part of a coven proper. I met some great people at the online thing, but I found I was often scheduling my own spiritual practices around it because it wasn't fulfilling in a spiritual way. I clashed with leadership. Some of them were abusive. I left, which meant I had to be cut off from even the people I'd liked by the he-said, she-said. Yes, the whole thing was a stupid idea on my part.

During that time, I started working with my wife. Now our son is old enough to join us for some of our circles, too. And I still mainly practice as a solitary, as I've always done. To me, only this more recent practice is both fulfilling and has a social component. But I still get lonely for others sometimes, as there are few neo-pagans in our area, and few, if any, of them seem to like me. It's not perfect, but I'm content with it.

I won't say I would never join "another" coven (the quotes because I'm not convinced the other experience was a coven), but I would be very wary. My wife is taking a "degree" with me in the tradition I've formed working as a solitary - although the focus is on learning, not the recognition of an award, so it's seldom mentioned as a degree. It's very open, so it allows each of us to sculpt our own learning models while still interacting as co-learners. Although I am the ostensible "leader" in that I have more experience, it would be more accurate to say that we are both delineating the system as we go. Personally, I like this. I crave challenge, but seldom find it outside my own tradition. Besides this, I work in ways that are difficult for most people. In fact, I find my way of doing magic is often unexpected to others. A couple of you talked about your energy interrupting others'. I so know how that feels, and I was afraid my energy wouldn't work well with anyone's after the whole online thing. However, I've found that my energy is compatible with that of a very few other people - fortunately including my wife, despite the fact that her energy is very different from mine.

If you are considering a coven environment, here are some things that I recommend you consider deal-breakers:

- You should be free to ask anything you want about the coven, and you should get honest, ready answers. If they won't answer something that's important to you, they probably aren't the way to go.

- You should never be abused or betrayed. Your side should always be heard, even if it isn't popular.

- Group hierarchies, if they exist at all, should be very open. I don't know if I agree that every group should have rules, but no coven should adopt rules with which even one member disagrees.

- Your membership should never depend upon money. Some groups ask for donations, and that's fine, but money should never impair your experience with the group. And no group should deny membership to or pressure those who cannot pay.

- I think it's fine to join a ritual at a public event. However, you shouldn't be thrust into rites that require a high level of trust until you know the people first. No matter what the circumstances, no one should become upset with you if you need to withdraw from a ritual. Personally, I don't think there should even be a problem with immediate withdrawal. It might be ideal for someone to cut you a door before you leave the circle, but your group should contain at least one individual that can manage energy well enough to proceed without cutting it.

- And, in the case of an online environment, don't share spirit with someone you wouldn't let into your home.

[Jenett]

Scott - you make some excellent points, but ones which can vary a bit among types of groups, so I wanted to take a moment to expand on some other ways to approach these issues.

You said:

You should be free to ask anything you want about the coven, and you should get honest, ready answers. If they won't answer something that's important to you, they probably aren't the way to go.

This is a place that varies - especially with traditions that have oathbound (private) material. I think a better framework is "Get enough information to make an informed decision", rather than expecting to have everything answered. For example, if someone asks me about the details of what our initiation contains, that's oathbound for us, and I can't answer it.

What I do instead is say: "The specifics of initiation are oathbound, so I can't tell you details. However, before we even consider initiation, you'd have studied with us, been in ritual with us, and had plenty of time to get to know us over at least a year, our training finishes with a class that talks about initiation in specific and some things to consider, and after that it would be your decision whether you wanted to proceed. Whenever possible, we do what we can to either give you information to make your own choices, or in a few cases like this, where that isn't entirely possible, to ask questions that would help us address any concerns in advance."


You should never be abused or betrayed. Your side should always be heard, even if it isn't popular.

Definitely. On the other hand, group leaders should not be abused either - a healthy group will have a way to handle difficult conversations. (For example: "Let's get together and talk about this face to face when we all can focus on it" rather than dealing with it after a challenging ritual might be very appropriate - and a group member who pushed for immediate resolution of something that could wait might be behaving in a hurtful way.)


- Group hierarchies, if they exist at all, should be very open. I don't know if I agree that every group should have rules, but no coven should adopt rules with which even one member disagrees.

This is something that depends a great deal on the group. I make no apologies for the fact that there's a clear heirarchy in the tradition: in our practice, the HPS is in charge.

I tend to refer to it as stewarding the group (and group resources.) I will not allow a rule in the group I can't sustain, even if other people want it.

For example, I'm asthmatic: someone who wants to be able to be in my group and smokes would need to be able to deal with some fairly restrictive options for them around the smoking. (Not in my house, and not outside without being outside for at least 10 minutes after the cigarette is put out. I live in Minnesota, so this is really not trivial in the winter, and also would limit breaks in classes, after-ritual, etc.)

Similarly, I'm not going to change core parts of the tradition - because I've made a commitment to nurture and keep this particular tradition secure. I'm not going to stop other people doing something else, but I don't feel an obligation to host that in my home, support it with my time, etc. either, so if someone's drawn in other directions, parting ways may make a lot of sense.

I'm going to listen to the opinions of the group, see what their suggestions are - but I might end up picking an answer that is make-or-break for someone else. That's not my preference, and I'd do everything I could to avoid it - but I also recognise there are times that may happen.

Part of this is also part of the development of self and self-awareness in some trads: there are often particular points of development where a group member needs to push against boundaries, and try them out. (It's often around 2nd degree, and it can be a lot like being a teenager again.)

Experienced group leaders will work with this and allow for this to an extent (because it's a pretty healthy and necessary stage in moderation), but shouldn't allow it to take over the group (making everything be about that person) because that doesn't support the rest of the group, or allow the group to do their shared work and worship together. Sometimes that means putting down their foot and saying "No, enough. Deal or take a break."


- Your membership should never depend upon money. Some groups ask for donations, and that's fine, but money should never impair your experience with the group. And no group should deny membership to or pressure those who cannot pay.

I definitely agree with this. However, I also think it's important for groups to figure out their needs (and a way to meet them that's sustainable) and to recognise multiple ways of meeting the needs. And then to find ways where everyone contributes, and helps support the group. Maybe one person gives more money, but the person for whom cash is limited does more of the really tedious work instead, and everyone chips in on general stuff (cleaning up after ritual, etc.)


Personally, I don't think there should even be a problem with immediate withdrawal. It might be ideal for someone to cut you a door before you leave the circle, but your group should contain at least one individual that can manage energy well enough to proceed without cutting it.

I agree in general that people should be able to withdraw from ritual if they're truly uncomfortable (not just 'not having a great time', though, unless the ritual is extremely lengthy.)

However, in a training group (like the one I trained in) it's also important to realise that the person who cast the circle may not be the most experienced person in the group. They may have a much harder time weaving stuff back in together, and it may significantly affect the rest of the ritual for everyone. (Also, people in the group may worry that the person who left is sick.)

Getting cut out is far preferable, because it means someone in the circle knows what's up, and that the energetic work of the ritual can continue as smoothly as possible. Think of it like leaving a party you're not fond of - there's a big difference between quietly excusing yourself, thanking your host briefly, and slipping out, and storming out of the house banging the door and yelling. Breaking through a circle can be a lot like the latter, depending on that group's practices.

(I'd also add: it can burn some bridges. If someone left a circle I was leading politely, and being cut out, I'd be open to continued conversation with them about what happened, how to resolve it, or reconsideration later. If they just walked out (we talk about this in a discussion of etiquette long before they come to circle) I'd probably be quite unwilling to reopen conversation about small group work with them unless there were an urgent medical reason why they left.)

[Scott Hill]

Jenett, you bring up some very interesting points. I think we have some different core values about how spiritual groups should be run.

For instance, I don't believe in having private material. If someone asks about something that is typically a "third-phase" (many would say, "third degree") process, I answer. You can hide a mystery in plain sight. Most people still won't understand. I might very well tell someone that I don't recommend they go there yet, but the ultimate decision is theirs.

I just stick to saying that no one should be abused, but that would include people acting in the capacity of "student" or "leader". I see myself and others in my tradition as co-learners, however. Just because I take a "first-among-equals" role in cases where I have more experience doesn't make me the leader or teacher. And, because I've given up the need for such titles, I think I learn more from those I'm facilitating. And I think they develop more confidence because they aren't subjected to strict hierarchies.

You and I seem to agree about the money issue. Some groups really need those donations, but membership within the group should never depend on having money. And there are many other ways to contribute besides money, so long as no one becomes the group's servant based on economic pressure. I also don't believe giving money should excuse someone from doing real work. You should not expect a higher status to be conferred upon you just because you have money or business skills (that probably seems far-fetched to many reading this, but it was how things often worked in the group I mentioned in my last post).

Again, I never require someone to be cut out if they need to go because I don't see any problem adjusting the energy. But I don't think it matters how you do it, so long as everyone can agree beforehand.

Thanks for your comments. I don't think you and I would make good coven mates, but at least you are forthright enough that I can see that up front. I wouldn't have to go through the process of bonding with the group and then being disappointed in my experience because you've been honest about how you think a group should run.

[Faethgale]

OK, my first post! I've enjoyed reading a lot of the answers, it's given me a lot to think about.

I'm originally from the East coast and was very open about my Paganism. When I worked in DC at Thanksgiving when one of my co-workers (who was also a minister) offered a prayer at our pot-luck, another co-worker said "Faeth's clergy too. I think she should say a few words." And I did. It was very well received and from then on whenever there was a Blessing or what have you to be said he and I shared. Well now I've moved to Missouri and I'm almost totally in the broom closet. I've said all this to say - I've never worked with a coven or in a group. I did home cleansings back East and some guidance and teaching. Well, now I'm wondering what I've missed. Lately I've felt a real need for a Sisterhood. And don't get me wrong - I have NO desire for man bashing. We need our Brothers as much as we need our Sisters. I'm not even really sure why I'm feeling this way. Perhaps because I'm away from my family and friends. Maybe because I'm at the age where I'm beginning the journey to Cronehood (is that a word? lol.) There is one group here locally that I know of, but the majority of members are parents and it's a very family oriented group. Again, I LOVE the idea of that, but I have no children so I don't feel it would be a good match. Also, as someone else posted, I don't do a lot of ritual. I also believe when (and if) it's time the group (teacher, etc.) will arrive.

OK I've gotten awful wordy. I'm sorry if this didn't make sense. I'm enjoying reading everything here - there's so much! Blessings all!

[thought_on_a_wind]

I feel a group around me from various parts of the world that would profit well from our experiences and universal views... they communicate in a way with me, and vice versa... the closest I came was when I was in Albuquerque amidst a group of free thinkers... problem is even then I felt the pull of the solitary and would isolate myself every so often...

So in short, I picked the Solitary option because I've felt no click with physical group that I'd profit from and be able to embrace completely... so, until that group of us who are linked can meet physically I'll maintain my habitual solitude/tutoring I've come to embrace.
strangely enough, still a ragin' rarin' solitary... but... this previous post of mine seems to be manifesting....

To expound on being a solitary, I've embraced many paths in my past, read up on them, practiced them and attempted to locate circles... just never worked out, as such, since walking my own path without having a traditional title, I've started to notice there are many others that walk similar paths who could be considered, loosely, a circle of sorts... though it seems said circle is sort of slowly coalescing. Will have to clarify on this original post in that, I've practiced primarily as a solitary though there have been moments within the last couple years since this post that I've had opportunities to embrace circles.

[Lunacie]

OK, my first post! I've enjoyed reading a lot of the answers, it's given me a lot to think about.

I'm originally from the East coast and was very open about my Paganism. When I worked in DC at Thanksgiving when one of my co-workers (who was also a minister) offered a prayer at our pot-luck, another co-worker said "Faeth's clergy too. I think she should say a few words." And I did. It was very well received and from then on whenever there was a Blessing or what have you to be said he and I shared. Well now I've moved to Missouri and I'm almost totally in the broom closet. I've said all this to say - I've never worked with a coven or in a group. I did home cleansings back East and some guidance and teaching. Well, now I'm wondering what I've missed. Lately I've felt a real need for a Sisterhood. And don't get me wrong - I have NO desire for man bashing. We need our Brothers as much as we need our Sisters. I'm not even really sure why I'm feeling this way. Perhaps because I'm away from my family and friends. Maybe because I'm at the age where I'm beginning the journey to Cronehood (is that a word? lol.) There is one group here locally that I know of, but the majority of members are parents and it's a very family oriented group. Again, I LOVE the idea of that, but I have no children so I don't feel it would be a good match. Also, as someone else posted, I don't do a lot of ritual. I also believe when (and if) it's time the group (teacher, etc.) will arrive.

OK I've gotten awful wordy. I'm sorry if this didn't make sense. I'm enjoying reading everything here - there's so much! Blessings all!

I've heard "cronedom" more often than "cronehood." But both are good.

I tend to think of those who lead groups as clergy, not so much those who are solitary. I got my internet certificate to be a minister many years ago, but didn't consider myself to be clergy until I was asked to take over as leader of my group/coven.

[Pagan's Sword]

I prefer being a solitary practitioner. One of the biggest reasons for my leaving Roman Catholicism was to get away from organized religion. I like to worship as I see fit, follow my own spiritual, moral and ethical code. Not those forced upon me.

I have attended a couple of open circles and those were fun. Still I can't see myself joining a coven. I would have to find one that followed at least 80% of my beliefs. I think that is a near impossibility. I would not force my beliefs on others so starting my own coven is also out of the question.

For me being solitary is the way to go, worship wise. As long as there are open circles, festivals, fairs and great sites like MW, meeting fellow pagans is not a problem.

[Lunacie]

I prefer being a solitary practitioner. One of the biggest reasons for my leaving Roman Catholicism was to get away from organized religion. I like to worship as I see fit, follow my own spiritual, moral and ethical code. Not those forced upon me.

I have attended a couple of open circles and those were fun. Still I can't see myself joining a coven. I would have to find one that followed at least 80% of my beliefs. I think that is a near impossibility. I would not force my beliefs on others so starting my own coven is also out of the question.

For me being solitary is the way to go, worship wise. As long as there are open circles, festivals, fairs and great sites like MW, meeting fellow pagans is not a problem.


Where did you get the idea that forming a coven means forcing others to accept your personal beliefs?

In the best of worlds, we find others who share our beliefs and agree to work/worship with them. Or we find those who are interested in learning about our beliefs and we share them with others, who may then decide to work/worship with us (or decide to travel on and seek a different path).

My group/coven is an eclectic one. We agree about the way to perform a ritual and the benefits that come from doing group rituals, but we don't share the exact same beliefs about the gods or about spirituality. Which leads to some interesting - and mind expanding - discussions among us.

[Faethgale]

I tend to think of those who lead groups as clergy, not so much those who are solitary. I got my internet certificate to be a minister many years ago, but didn't consider myself to be clergy until I was asked to take over as leader of my group/coven.

I should have clarified that she called me clergy - that wasn't how I represented myself. And I still don't really feel I'm clergy. It *feels* to me one should really have a group of some sort to be clergy. But as I've thought of it I can see solitary being clergy. I think back to when people were more isolated than we are now, when funerals and marriages, etc. needed to be done and there wasn't "ordained" clergy to do it. As I'm so alone now in this area I also kind of have to be my own clergy.

Don't mean to hijack this post, but I'd like to hear other's thought on solitary vs. group as clergy. Especially because I'm awful at explaining while typing, lol.

[Pagan's Sword]

[quote=Lunacie;4138322]Where did you get the idea that forming a coven means forcing others to accept your personal beliefs?

In my personal experience, the few covens I have had interactions with were most definitely not eclectic. They were more the type where the priest/priestess ran the entire production. I certainly wanted no parts of anything of the sort. I didn't mean to imply that all covens are that way. It would be nice if someday I can see what a true eclectic coven is like, but until then I'm happy to remain a solitary.

[Lunacie]

I should have clarified that she called me clergy - that wasn't how I represented myself. And I still don't really feel I'm clergy. It *feels* to me one should really have a group of some sort to be clergy. But as I've thought of it I can see solitary being clergy. I think back to when people were more isolated than we are now, when funerals and marriages, etc. needed to be done and there wasn't "ordained" clergy to do it. As I'm so alone now in this area I also kind of have to be my own clergy.

Don't mean to hijack this post, but I'd like to hear other's thought on solitary vs. group as clergy. Especially because I'm awful at explaining while typing, lol.

That could be an interesting discussion. Care to start a new thread?
You could put a link to it here.



[quote=Lunacie;4138322]Where did you get the idea that forming a coven means forcing others to accept your personal beliefs?

In my personal experience, the few covens I have had interactions with were most definitely not eclectic. They were more the type where the priest/priestess ran the entire production. I certainly wanted no parts of anything of the sort. I didn't mean to imply that all covens are that way. It would be nice if someday I can see what a true eclectic coven is like, but until then I'm happy to remain a solitary.

I know there are many covens who insist on everyone toeing the party line. Definately not the kind of coven I'd be satisfied working in.

It might be easier to start your own classes that could lead to your own coven than to find a group with beliefs that are similar to yours. Not everyone in my group has even been Wiccan, but they have been interested in working with a group and are willing to work with our rituals for Sabbats and Esbats and then go off and do something solitary to suit their own beliefs and honor their own gods. Some people forget that's the way Wicca was originally set up - the group does things one way without demanding acceptance of a certain orthodoxy, and the individual members do their own thing on their own time in their own way.

I'm not saying that everyone would be better off if they could find a group or coven to work with - but it can be a really great experience and I think those who don't even give it a try out may be missing something good. IF (big if) they can find a good group to work with.

[Faethgale]

[quote=Lunacie;4138344]That could be an interesting discussion. Care to start a new thread?
You could put a link to it here.

I'd love to do that. Um where do I post it and how do I do a link to it? I'm trying to figure it out.

P.S. I love your name. I also use LunaC sometimes.

[Faethgale]

I started a new thread in Advanced Paganism asking for thoughts on being clergy. I *HOPE* this is the link:

http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=4138460#post4138460

[Lunacie]

I started a new thread in Advanced Paganism asking for thoughts on being clergy. I *HOPE* this is the link:

http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=4138460#post4138460

Yep, that works fine. :thumbsup:

[childofcrow]

I love the energy of working with a group. I just seem to lack the ability to find the right people to work with.

[Caitlin.ann]

I swear I read this as "sorority" or coven.

[Winter_Witch]

I'm Solitary and prefer it that way; I need to do my own thing on my own time.

However, I have been in a group celebration, and it was still pleasant.

[MamaWytch]

I have worked with groups before, but I prefer solitary practice. I think that the synergy that is required to work successfully as a group is often difficult to achieve; I feel more connected when I am on my own.

(YAY for resurrecting old posts?)

[rawrTigress]

I want to practice in a coven, but I haven't found the right one. The last coven I found was based in LA. The high priestess was trying to support herself by only teaching wicca classes which is fine... but it made the cost of classes really high which made me feel uncomfortable. ..... I want to find a genuine group. I am still searching.

[of black birds]

I swear I read this as "sorority" or coven.


That would make honoring the Greek Gods SUPER Greeky!:toofless:

[Tavthe]

I have been a member of a circle. I have attended coven engagements (without being a member of the coven). And I have practiced as a solitary. Although I said I prefer solitary work, there are times I enjoy working with others - but for the most part prefer solitary ritual.

[LadyDryad]

I practice as a solitary both by choice and by necessity. By choice, because, well...I love to be and work alone. People get on my nerves, and I find that I am better able to focus when alone.

And by necessity, because there aren't any with similar beliefs (that I know of) in this area.

[Brearley Arn]

I work alone, as my primary Goddess only works with Solitary individuals. I have no Patron god to work with(as of yet), and by my own preference I choose to work alone.

The only time I've worked with another was my fiancee for our engagement handfasting, and we called on no specific deities.

[Thrift]

In all spiritual paths that I have followed and explored over the years I have been mainly a solitary practitioner but from time to time collaborated with covens. I have had friends that have practiced as well and have been there to offer support when I was going through difficult times.

I had been invited to join a few covens in the area where I grew up but was a little cautious because these people they just showed up on my doorstep and asked me to teach them. I found out that someone I use to collaborate with recommended me as a good teacher but then I also found out that this particular coven was feuding with another in the area. That was a surprise because I thought "warring covens" where just something that you read about it books.

That's when I told them I was out and to stay away from me. I practice for knowledge and to help the world. Not for personal power.

I've just started to get back into the practice and am trying to lay-low because I do not want to attract any attention of those around the area I'm living now. If my feelings are right and from what I have heard from other religious groups the area I am living in is huge for this kind of thing.

At least I'm going to lay-low for the time being. We will see what happens when I need someone to teach me something outside of what I can learn here.

[Thrift]

I work alone, as my primary Goddess only works with Solitary individuals. I have no Patron god to work with(as of yet), and by my own preference I choose to work alone.

The only time I've worked with another was my fiancee for our engagement handfasting, and we called on no specific deities.

Who is your primary Goddess?

[Brearley Arn]

Who is your primary Goddess?

Vasilia, Goddess of Wind and Stars. From the Vilturj Pantheon.

[Selah]

I am solitary, and I want to stay that way :)

[Adelphos]

I am solitary. So is my wife. We overlap each others beliefs enough to get along, but we differ enough to generally have different opinions from one another. It gives us lots to discuss, and it works for us.

The only coven I've had contact with is one a friend is in. It is strictly female, and is comprised exclusively of (sorry if I offend anyone) heavy-set, middle-aged, man-hating, loud, opinionated, caty, purple-velvet-wearing, "my pentacle is bigger than yours" bragging, high priestesses. They are all currently between jobs and/or husbands, but will jump at any opportunity to point out why they are better than you, and know absolutely everything about everything. (Although I have yet to find one amongst them who has any metaphysical knowledge beyond what they've seen in the movie "The Craft", or on "The Ghost Whisperer.")

I don't want to stir up trouble, or stereo-type, but that really is the make-up of the entire group. It's not that I have anything against any one of those personality traits on it's own. It's the slamming together of all of them in every member of the coven, and then mascarading it as a faith. That what gets me riled up. None of them will admit that any of the others is the leader, and from what I've seen (which is a lot) there is always at least one of them who is ticked off at one of the others.

It's like watching a wiccan version of the real housewives of the Jerry Springer show.

So, yeah... I think I'll remain solitary for now.

[Sharizzy]

I'm mostly solitary, but I think I would like to be in a coven.

[Erebos]

I posted a similar poll in the newbie section, but I was wondering how the results might differ for those more experienced. Do you prefer solitary study/practice or coven/group study and practice? Are you currently involved in a solitary or group experience? If they differ, why?

I've worked with a training coven and an open public group, and I have to say, I much prefer solitary practice. I often don't like the way other people do things, so I just prefer to do it myself.

[mercurialmaven]

I haven't had the pleasure of working in a group yet, but I would like to give it a shot at some point. I am a member of an "order" but that is primarily online since I haven't been able to locate a Hermetic group in my area.

[adrasteashadow]

The only coven I've had contact with is one a friend is in. It is strictly female, and is comprised exclusively of (sorry if I offend anyone) heavy-set, middle-aged, man-hating, loud, opinionated, caty, purple-velvet-wearing, "my pentacle is bigger than yours" bragging, high priestesses. They are all currently between jobs and/or husbands, but will jump at any opportunity to point out why they are better than you, and know absolutely everything about everything. (Although I have yet to find one amongst them who has any metaphysical knowledge beyond what they've seen in the movie "The Craft", or on "The Ghost Whisperer.")

I don't want to stir up trouble, or stereo-type, but that really is the make-up of the entire group.
It's like watching a wiccan version of the real housewives of the Jerry Springer show.

So, yeah... I think I'll remain solitary for now.

:rollingla

I know there are covens who aren't like this but unfortuntely, they seem to be few and far between. When I was 17 first exploring Wicca (my path has since changed), I met alot of these types. Sad part was, the majority were in their late 20s/30s and just seemed to have read some 101 books and never bothered to learn anything else. Thanks, but no thanks:ack:

I prefer being a solitary witch but if I met even just another witch I felt I could trust, someone who was beyond 101 (or at least was willing to continue educating themselves) then I would like to trying working together.

[Soul Scribe]

Covens are just a little too close to organized religion for my tastes...

[~Runa~]

I work both solitary and sometimes with another during rites.

[Tau Raphael]

Both Solitary and Coven work, or circle work as we call it. Although most of the more advanced working is done solitary.

[sunnydawn]

I'm more solitary.
however I would like to experience a coven.

[TigerCzarina]

I was in a coven-like group...thing with a few people in high school. I thought it was nice at first, but when you find out that everyone purposefully is keeping secrets from each other about everything, it wears on the nerves, you know?
With being solitary, I find I don't have to worry about that, hidden motives, or other emotions and intentions interfering with how I want something to work.


But that is just me.

[Morphistis]

In my lifetime, I have practiced with four other people over a span of 20 years. I did much enjoy being around another pagan at the time and this leads me to beleive I might enjoy a coven. I live in Maine and have only lived here a year as of yesterday.
I would love the oppurtunity to practice with more than one other person mostly for a rather selfish reason I suppose. I think it would be a great learning experience for me. Having practiced mostly solitary I must admit that I have always had some various small confusions about the craft as to wether or not I am taking a good approach. It has always felt right, guess thats all that really counts, but I would love to learn the philosiphies of other practitioners. I am always open to such things.
If any of you out there know of any covens based in Maine, I would LOVE to get in contact with them. So by all means, feel free to send me some contact info. Maybe someone in the community is a member of a coven in Maine and could veer me in the right direction of fianlly obtaining the full coven experience.

[dulcamaria]

Solitary, would like to participate larger scale with solstice gatherings but, there is still a lot of fear in my area and sadly I haven't branched out to my local Pagan community. Had too many bad experiences with folks who say they get it but they don't.:ggrief:

[Heliotrope]

I prefer solitary, because I'd rather be just that. Loneliness is precious to me; I value my privacy.

[AmadoreEdana123]

I WISH there was a coven closer to me. I have never been a part of one but I have worked with others...in the past. The closest one to me is an hour away and I would do that but I work a lot and I don't know if i would have enough time for it and Im also scared to join a coven. I don't want to go meet with them myself and they be crazies or something. I also have general anxiety about talking to other people I dont know...I still think about it though. I think it would be awesome to have a coven family to grow and learn and share and practice with though.

[Y Ladi Wen]

I prefer working alone, but I have on occasion worked with others.

[aynfean]

I like to work alone as I'm not exactly Wiccan. However I miss the social aspect, and learning from others.

In an ideal world I'd find a few other witches and have a coven whose sole purpose was friendship and mutual learning.

[LunaWolfe]

I like to work alone because my thoughts on how things work are much different from others. I have yet to be able to find a coven to work with that thinks like I do. I would however like to work with others in ritual if there are magic rites involved. (Also, I refuse to call magic..magick. It's magic. Really, magick isn't even a word.)

[Sarasvati]

I picked: I prefer and practice being solitary

Being part of a group has its advantages and disadvantages ... just as being a solitary practitioner. But everyone has different expectations, different needs.
Although I was part of a pagan group when I lived in France, I much prefer solitary practice.

[Amanda]

I picked .... I prefer and practice being solitary.... I'm eclectic and it can be hard to find others that believe and follow the same path as you... it would be nice but most pagans where I'm from are solitary...

[Sarasvati]

I'm eclectic and it can be hard to find others that believe and follow the same path as you

You're right, that's important to notice: when we're eclectic (I'm eclectic too) it's pretty hard to find people who share the same beliefs. Most of the time we share only few of these beliefs and we have to keep everything else for ourselves. It would be much more pleasant and rewarding to be part of a group in which we could share (and practice) all of our beliefs.

[Elwin]

Coven but only if you find one that resonates with you. They must nurture your foundation learning, embrace your inspirations, support your passions and help balance your emotions. Spiritually they should help grow to your potential. There is nothing like sharing energy with a well balanced group that is drama free. I enjoy the sharing and releasing of my struggles at the new moon, the darkness of the night, the flickering of the sacred fire. The moon lit land of the full moon creating and embracing our futures together. The Sabbaths celebrating the wheel of the year in love and with your chosen family.

Please remember that you must work hard on your spiritual growth as nothing of worth is handed to you. You must release your barriers and add your energy when you are in circle to have a divine experience. Last but not least get to know your fellow group members and nurture a relationship with them.

[Riothamus]

To put it plainly I am a victim of circumstance and there are not many around here. I am a very solitary person, though I would like more interaction. So I'm solitary if only because I have no one else to practice with. The closest thing I have is my family who I celebrate christian holidays with if only because many of them are set on pagan holy days anyway, and they grew up catholic, though my father has moved to a more "alternative" spiritual mindset. So it's sort of a compromise though they do accept my faith. But that said it would be nice to have someone else to celebrate the sabbats with and practice together with.

[blackwingsblackheart]

I voted "prefer coven but practice solitary", but I wish there was a choice of "like and practice both." I'm an introvert with a horror of internal politics and "processing", so it's hard for me to get and stay involved with groups. I also genuinely enjoy solitary meditation and worship at my private altar, whenever I feel like it rather than when schedules permit. On the other hand, I love the energy of a good coven ritual, and how new ideas can spark in the group mind. I even like the eclectic clutter of group altars. After a long time as solitaries for us both, a new friend and I are trying to keep a 2-person coven going, with the goal to open it up to selected individuals once we're comfortable with each other and our practice. So far she's been having us practice a lot of magic, while my focus has always been mainly on worship and ritual, so it'll be interesting to see how this all pans out.

[RedTailHawk]

I've looked for a coven in the local area but the closest is 45 minutes away. I'd be fine with that if it didn't involve driving along interstates and stuff....

[MysticCottageHerbs]

I have been solitary for so long but I would love to meet people my age and start a coven. Doesn't seem to be that many witch people where I live though.

[Louisvillian]

Recently, I've been shifting from solitary practice to a duet. I'm with someone who is genuinely interested and involved with the same religion as I, so we've decided to practise together. We're kinda still solitary practitioners, in that we will do rituals on our own sometimes, but we perform important rites together. We might look into larger group work, but at the moment we're fine with what we're doing. And, honestly, it's fulfilling to me in a way that solitary practice just wasn't. I feel a much greater sense of male and female energy dynamic at work in our rituals, and we've determined together the god and goddess we worship.

[Áine de Morrígan]

Recently, I've been shifting from solitary practice to a duet. I'm with someone who is genuinely interested and involved with the same religion as I, so we've decided to practise together. We're kinda still solitary practitioners, in that we will do rituals on our own sometimes, but we perform important rites together. We might look into larger group work, but at the moment we're fine with what we're doing. And, honestly, it's fulfilling to me in a way that solitary practice just wasn't. I feel a much greater sense of male and female energy dynamic at work in our rituals, and we've determined together the god and goddess we worship.

That sounds really nice, pretty much exactly what I would hope to be able to do sometime! I imagine it'd be hard to find not only other pagans where I live, but specifically people who believe something very close to what I do, as I'm definitely not your typical Wiccan. I can't imagine I'll ever go out with anyone with the same beliefs, as the chances are just quite low, but it'd be great to have a like-minded friend at some point.

So for me, I've always been solitary, but I would like to try something different sometime, though not until I've figured myself out first I guess.