Maiden to Mother

[~Nixie]

What do you feel are the most significant changes in the transition from Maiden to Mother? This may be applied in the context of a person, a Goddess, plants/animals, or otherwise.

When does a girl cross over from a maiden to a mother, really? Is there an event that you feel marks this passage (such as menstruation, or sex, or childbirth) or more so an accumulation of events that happen over time? Do you feel that all females have aspects of the maiden/mother/crone within them?

If you are a female, when did you realize yourself as a woman (instead of a girl, implying a younger girl) and what does it mean to you to be a woman?

I am 17 years old, which many people would classify as just a "girl", and to an extent I agree. I have an inner child that will always be a part of me, any way. Though lately I feel that I am transitioning more into a woman, in that I am becoming more independent and confident in my abilities. There is a lot more to it than that, but it is one of the significant changes that I'm going through right now that makes me feel this way, on a personal level. To me, a Mother is one who can nourish her own creations (and herself, and sometimes the people around her), rather than just being literally childbirth. I think that the transition is one that takes time. I do feel that we have many different aspects of the Goddess in us, but some play more dominant roles at certain points of our lives.

(Note: I don't mean to assume that every body here uses the terms Maiden/Mother, if there is a terminology that is more applicable to your own beliefs please use it).


Also, what about the transition from Mother to Crone? How do you see the "Crone" (or again, however you define it).

[Tanya]

Wow! What thoughtful questions.

I suppose we can only answer from our own experiences, so I will tell you mine.

There is, i believe, a strong and important tradition re-emerging about older women helping to mentor younger women over these thresholds, and I hope I can be of help.


What do you feel are the most significant changes in the transition from Maiden to Mother? This may be applied in the context of a person, a Goddess, plants/animals, or otherwise.

It is a change in your state of soul/mind/grace. It is neither positive nor negative, nor does it nessasarily imply literal motherhood. As I think about it that change is basically engendered in the change of view from thinking about and living for yourself(which is NOT a selfish or wrong activity let me add!) to living and thinking for what comes after/beside you.

It is a shift from "growing up" to "growing out."

In that, as a maiden it is your WORK spiritually and mentally to develop and strength and grow the 'self.' It is the work of the mother to spread those branches out into the world and use that strongly developed self to shape, grow, and enrich the rest of the world.




When does a girl cross over from a maiden to a mother, really? Is there an event that you feel marks this passage (such as menstruation, or sex, or childbirth) or more so an accumulation of events that happen over time?

When? That depends on the woman. It depends on her spirit, and her life conditions. Where is she? What's happened to her both positive and negative? What are the expectations on her from her family/ culture?

I began the transition when I became a park ranger and organic farmer, I think because I finally knew who I was and what I had to possitively contribute to the universe, and started DOING IT.

It took me a very long time to become strong enough to claim my dharma. With my dharma very quickly in succession came literal motherhood.. and yeah... I woudl say that's a big passage... feeling another life in me... knowing my life was no longer just mine. So I would say for me, i was in my mid-20s.

I don't think physically having a baby assures you of being in that place.. but I believe often it does, and that it is one of those physically things that have a strong ability to take you to it.


Do you feel that all females have aspects of the maiden/mother/crone within them?

As a seed yes... we all have the potential to live full rounded out lives, but it must be nurtured to grow. If we become fearful of moving into the next stage of our lives and cling to what we were when we were 12 or 25... we basically coppice ourselves... we survive, but we can not meet and master our full capabilities.

Certainly you don't lose whatyou have been... that is still in you... I think of people like trees, you don't lose the trunk just because you have branched out and are setting fruit...

and someday we will meet the winowing end of life.. where we strip down to the bare essentials, and as a crone lend what is strongest and toughest of ourselves to the maidens comming up.




If you are a female, when did you realize yourself as a woman (instead of a girl, implying a younger girl) and what does it mean to you to be a woman?

well. menstrating is the beinging obviously. it is the begining of the end of childhood as we become physically able to bear children and so must accept the responsibility of that power.

That is just the begining of becoming a woman though.... the kick off.

then there is sex. More responsibilty, not just for your body, your ability to create life, but also your ability to deal with one's own strong emotions and the strong emotions of a partner.

personally, I feel a woman becomes completely a woman when she start steering her own way in the world and becomes independent of her family largely.... again.. more learning and more responsibilty.

I became a fully woman around the age of 21-22. I had a loving relationship with a long-term lover, an apartment, several jobs, and was finishing my first degree.




I am 17 years old, which many people would classify as just a "girl", and to an extent I agree. I have an inner child that will always be a part of me, any way. Though lately I feel that I am transitioning more into a woman, in that I am becoming more independent and confident in my abilities. There is a lot more to it than that, but it is one of the significant changes that I'm going through right now that makes me feel this way, on a personal level. To me, a Mother is one who can nourish her own creations (and herself, and sometimes the people around her), rather than just being literally childbirth. I think that the transition is one that takes time. I do feel that we have many different aspects of the Goddess in us, but some play more dominant roles at certain points of our lives.

I think you sound like you are progressing just fine. We don't become one thing all at once.. it isn't a strictly linear proccess...

don't take too much on yourself..it is good to give and to nourish.. but you must first secure the well of yourself before you give, and know your limits... it doesn't make you a bad person to say "that's too much responsibility for me to handle right now." that's just honestly and self awareness.

When I was 17, I loved a boy who had a lot of troubles, and I wanted so much to give to him, to give him a home and security and all the things he had deserved and missed... and... though I had the best of intentions... I didn't yet have the strength and wisdom to deal with all the rage and fear and anger his deep needs brought with him. It is so so easy to be captured by such a person, especially if you are smart, strong and centred yourself, you over estimate your abilty to give...I am not speaking metaphically when I tell you... he nearly killed me.

be careful... don't bite off more than you can chew.

and don't rush... the Bible was right.. "to every thing there is a season"

[~Nixie]

I thank you for your time, and thoughtfulness. I think that I agree with much of what you are saying, even though I cannot completely understand it in its entirety, for I am still inexperienced, but I can still grasp those concepts.

Pardon me if I rant about this, for I do not want the thread to be too focused on myself.

What I mentioned about becoming more independent and confident is only a small part of the picture for me, yet something that I have consciously been transitioning in a great deal recently. It seems as though it's at least an important part of the process towards expanding myself as a person, not just a woman. Yet I relate it to my experience as a female.

A few years ago, I also went through a significant period of time (I'm always changing a great deal, but at some times more than others) where I "grew out" or expanded in a more spiritual way, perhaps more on a personal level, but also realizing the importance of other beings, of my connection with them, and of the web of life. Currently, I strive to improve myself, not only to lead a more fulfilling life, but in hopes of improving the world around me by my work, if only through small ripples or perhaps something much larger than that, I cannot say yet. I see myself emotionally nurturing very few individuals, at least on an intimate level, although when the situation arises with a close friend it is very important to me. Because of my own family, I am not a very family-oriented person, and I have yet to be in a long-lasting relationship, because I have not found the right person. These things mentioned are considered by some to be characteristics of womanhood, although I think it's different for every body. At the moment I am most concerned with my education and intellectual pursuits (although I would like to be in a relationship with somebody, that is a long story) but this is to prepare myself so I can expand, and contribute to the world. By having more confidence and self-love, I can better nurture these things, though I am not arrogant. These things have only been set in motion, and soon I think they will begin traveling much faster. Yet I have not completed much yet.

I also agree with what you are saying, about not moving too fast, although I do not always heed this advice very well. I often fear that I am not doing enough, or perhaps it's too much in all the wrong places. I was forced to "grow up" (sort of) fast, so there are things I cannot help, but I must admit that I've dabbled with things beyond my understanding, if only out of my own curiosity. Yet there are some barriers we must break, I am also cautious.

[*oonagh*]

i take it to mean the literal change from non-menstuating (maiden) to menstruating (mother). then, when one stops menstruating, one becomes a crone.

now, maturity is another story. spirituality is yet another story. these things happen when they happen.

[~Nixie]

Interesting, oonagh. So you feel that being a woman is more of a physical attribute than a mental or spiritual one? Thank you for your reply.

[*oonagh*]

Interesting, oonagh. So you feel that being a woman is more of a physical attribute than a mental or spiritual one? Thank you for your reply.

yes, i do when one is talking about the three stages of a female's life.
when it comes to all of the social changes we have to go through, that's another story.