Trying to Hold On

[Clair de la Lune]

I am asking for a little help to make it through my MIL's visit and beyond so I don't crash. I have bipolar disorder so if I push too hard, I become manic and have a ton of energy and can go on very little sleep and tend not to take care of myself by skipping meals and such, but I end up really paying for it later, so I am really trying not to do that. If I do that, I pay for it by crashing by hitting the bottom with needing to sleep for extended periods of time, and going into a deep depression. Yet I see so many things I need to do, that I know that I can't possibly get them done in time for her visit tomorrow! I will be with her ALL weekend, and since she is so ultra-Christian and practically craps rainbows and it is constantly God this, and Jesus that...and the constant questions and perfectionism...I don't know how I can handle it... and still be "myself" and just choke it all down and smile an everything. I really want her to like me, but I don't want to compromise who I am either. I am afraid that we will be having to be her sole entertainment, and I feel that I will be feeling like the victim of a witchhunt by the time it is all through! I am trying not to let myself get sick worrying about it. I am trying to be productive, but I was in a foul mood earlier because she was coming, and I don't want to have her know. I feel I might lose it soon.

I also have a lot of personal stressors right now. Thank the gods for my supportive hubby, but I need something more right now...

Please send me any energy you can spare.

Greatly appreciated and blessings to you!
Clair

[Glowy]

((snuggles and huggles for my pal))

energy.. and .. come visit your poor old auntie glowy when she pops round

tell the ole bitty I am several generations removed :bigredgri

[Clair de la Lune]

Thanks! :smile: :hugz:

"ole bitty"... :uhhuhuh: :yourock::muwaha:

That was GREAT!!!! :bigredgri

[alwaysfallingup]

Oh, what a drag! Sending wishes for an easy, conflict-free weekend and calming energy! :hugs: You can do this!

[Bettie]

Hang in there, hon.... :hugz:

[watersprite]

Claire, this is your house, not hers. My Mom used to say, "If you don't like the way my house looks, feel free to clean it up."
Let your husband know that you expect his support, that YOU are his family now. You must make your personal bedroom off limits.
If you feel an explosion coming on, walk away from her.You don't deserve that kind of stress. She sounds like she is doing this to you because she knows how to push your buttons. She will be part of the crowd that gets struck by lightning. Leaving the rest of us here to live our lives in peace.
You have a calming candle about to be lit. I will send as much energy as I can for a peaceful weekend.

[Nesta]

Calming energy to you. :hugz:

[Cloaked Raven]

:hugz: Energy sent... Along with some "You can do it!!" prayers and lots of warm thoughts. :hugz:

[Dio]

You posted this yesterday, so I'm gonna make sure you've had your breakfast this morning!!! Don't forget to take time out for YOURSELF! :) Let things fall into place naturally, and don't worry about pushing and forcing things just to make your "ole' bitty" happy. Things will work out as they should while she's visiting, and before you know it, she'll be on her way...far, far away!

No one should ever have to stress about someone visiting. If she complains, just tell her she can stay somewhere else the next time she visits. Maybe suggest a hotel nearby. :smile:

[Lunacie]

Energy on the way to keep you balanced and in control of yourself. :hugz:

[Moonlight's Daughter]

Calm energy sent toward you. Take deep breaths and try to stay grounded.

[Willow Rosette]

Clair honey you have all my love and support!! If you need to call me you have my number, dont hesitate if you need it!!

[green aventurine]

There was some good advice on this thread from Dio and watersprite, IMO. I can't remember if it was watersprite from another thread
about Christian mother-in-laws but some good advice I read on that was that it's important to set certain boundaries with your husband before your MIL turns up so you'll both know what to do and how to react in a pinch.

A couple of other things I would say are sometimes it's good to be assertive about being assertive and you don't always have to stand up for your rights 100% all the time etc if you don't really have the energy because other things are going on in your life and you can't spare it. Having said that, I would probably draw the line if she wanted to tie me up and throw me into a river to see if I floated or sank :hahugh:

Also, it doesn't matter how much you tidy your place etc if someone wants to be an ass about it (and I'm not saying your MIL will be because I don't know anything about her) they will find something to make a remark about etc, so at the end of the day there is only so much you can tidy up etc and if they don't like it, it's their problem, IMO.

I'll send you some energy over the weekend (and will sort out MSN on my profile and hopefully chat to you next week once she's gone)

take care and good luck :)

[Lunar Raven]

Calming energy sent :D. Think happy thoughts..

-joe

[Raven Reed]

I am bipolar also, and I just went through a visit with my half-sister and her daughter. I just found out about them a few months ago, so there were a lot of emotional up and downs as we talked about our biological mother and why she did what she did.

I made it through fairly gracefully (I hope), but I am feeling it now that they are gone. It must be noticeable because my 17 year old son hugged me out of the blue last night and said that I look depressed.

Just let yourself go once she is gone and give yourself a few days to be off center.

[Willow Rosette]

Clair how are you doing??? I was thinking about you today, almost called to see how it was going but didnt want to interupt. Your in my prayers honey! Remember, she isnt moving in, she is just there temporarily! :hugz:

[Toki Wartooth]

Sending some energy your way. Hope you're doing all right. :hugz:

[Clair de la Lune]

I just want to thank EVERYONE who is helping me to deal with my MIL. It has been a trip so far...and I really thought I was going to lose it Saturday when I was tired, but I kept it together somehow!:hahugh: Before that, on Thursday night and going into Friday...time to pick her up, I was thinking it was time to check myself in...or call the doc for a medicine change as I was so anxious I could not stand it, then I was so depressed I hardly had energy...but I made it through. I am re-energizing myself now for round 2. I think I got too much sun and stress Saturday, so I think I may have cold sores coming in. To the pharmacy I will go tomorrow!:uhhuhuh: The important part is... I have made it and ... nobody died! LOL

This is the first opportunity that I have had to be online since she has arrived in town on Friday, and I am feeling a bit relieved to have some time to myself with nothing scheduled "to do" on Monday, though my MIL knew we were busy Sunday... with a Birthday party for my friend's son that she chose not to go with us to and that my hubby had to work that night....so we got out of having to take her to church...thank the gods! She could go with my hubby's sister and her family since she is staying with them now, anyway.

As for how things have been going, I thought that between the heat and always having to be running around and entertaining her, that I was burning myself out, but after today without her and being able to ground and center by myself tonight, I feel better.

Nobody mentioned my pentagram. My hubby graduated from Massage Therapy School Friday:graduate: and it went well. Related party on Saturday. She went too. We stayed overnight in a motel with her Friday that had 2 beds. She lectured me on how I should get up every day at 4:30 am like she does and pray for a 1/2 hour, and then read the Bible for another 1/2 each day, then watch a couple of televangelists every day, and then exercise for an hour each day...and she could show me how. That would be 4 hours of my life I would never get back... besides, I am usually still up somewhere around at least 3 am. Exercise and maybe praying (or whatever spiritual practice I want) when I want to...yes. She thought through prayer and exercise that I would be 100% healthy and never need my medications again IF I do it like she does...mm..ok...:smileroll Whatever.

I was speaking at the party with a person a little younger than me who has panic attacks, so I talked to her about my generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD. Of course then I happened to mention that I also have bipolar disorder, and my MIL just about fell backwards out of her chair like I hit her or something.:bigredgri She tried to hide it but it was obvious. The person talked to me about different meds like she had been there too. Meanwhile, I was expecting my MIL to watch for alien attenae to grow out of my head or something, LOL!:hahugh:

Then we had a discussion and she was arguing that a CT scan is more detailed than a MRI. It took both of us to convince her otherwise. She did not believe just me. Oh brother!

She saw the pit...er, the apartment, and she was seeing our point that there was no room here for her. That is when we helped her get a motel for Friday night. She waited to find out if she could do comparisson shopping and actually go to each one and compare them! I was supposed to take her to do this. We had plans. We had to wait for her flight that got in late and barely had enough time to eat and get ready and make it to his graduation. She had to stay out of town because of sports' tournaments and the big university was graduating too, so even the hotel for upwards of $200+ per night was booked! There barely is for us in our apartment, and it is full of camping equipment right now!:uhhuhuh: She is buying us a cleaning product for Christmas...:weirdsmil Is that a hint?:cutie:

RIP Billy Mays, hawker of many a brilliant cleaning products "as seen on TV". :(

[Willow Rosette]

Clair Im so proud of you!! I knew you could hang in there!!

[green aventurine]

Yeah, well done! :)

Just sent you some more energy.

[Lunacie]

So glad to see that you survived, and with your sense of humor intact. :lol: :boing:

I love how the universe provided a chance for your MiL to listen in as you shared experiences with someone else who has neurological issues. Coming from you alone it would have seemed like whining or excuses, but hearing someone else's experiences and then hearing you mention that there is more to your own experience let her see that you don't actually whine or make excuses. That was great.

I'm glad you had something else to do instead of spending every minute trying to keep her entertained, that was probably a very big help. And now... you can finally have the time and space to actually breathe - and get grounded and centered. Sounds like you're doing great - I'd probably have to go to bed for a couple of naps before I got my own balance back again.

Yay Clair ! :thumbsup:

[green aventurine]

So I'd probably have to go to bed for a couple of naps before I got my own balance back again.

:uhhuhuh: yes, know the feeling.

Clair - how did you get on? Is she gone now?

[Philosophia]

Sending positive, comforting, and calming energy to you!