Visionary Experiences

[cydira]

Hello folks, I'm glad to be back on-line. I was starting to twitch with the symptoms of internet withdrawl syndrome. ;)

Now I know that there's quite a few of you that have had visionary experiences. I'm wondering what it was like for you. In my case, it was intense and powerfully healing. I'm sure that several of you folks have simmilar experiences that you may want to share, to possibly help some one that's had one feel a little less crazy. I know that I felt that way during the first few weeks after I had the one I'm about to share with you. :)

With my babbling aside, here's what happened. During the three months after I had left an abusive relationship, I was doing alot of soul searching (felt more like I was trying to find mine again :p ) and study of different religions. To say the least, abuse tends to have an effect on your tendancy to believe in much of anything. One night, when I was half awake and trying to get my younger brother to stop yammering at me, something odd happened.

The air in the room seemed to become very heavy, as though on the verge of a thunderstorm or something. There was a bright light on my face, as though it was the light of the full moon, though it was roughly the new moon when this happened. I, thinking it was my brother with a flashlight or something, rolled over and opened my eyes. There, standing at the foot of my bed was the God, appearing to me in an aspect I've since learned is Lug (known in the Welsh panthenon as Llew). He sat down beside me and told me that what happened wasn't my fault and held me as I wept.

I had told none of what happened to me in the relationship I was in before, to hear the words that I so desperately needed to just opened the floodgates. I think that was probably the most intense of the visions I've had, it definately is right up there with the next one that I'd like to share with you. This next one came to me again during a time of suffering in my life, this was much more recent.

I was experiencing a rather deep depression and I found myself on the verge of being suicidal. As I was standing there on the balcony on the second floor of the dorm, contemplating jumping off, I heard a voice behind me, calling my name. I turned, startled to hear a male voice in a women's dorm during the week at 3 am. I could almost see a tall form standing in the shadows behind me, but not clearly. His presence, however, was obvious. Quietly, I was told not to attempt to end my life and that he would determine my time, not me. Since then, I am pleased to say, no matter how depressed I've gotten, I haven't experienced suicidal thoughts. His quiet and stern voice is there at the back of my mind, reminding me of that very firm message.

These may help some one. It may help some one to feel a little less crazy after their first few visions. It may help some one that is going through a crisis. Either of these is more then I can ask for. These visions, and others like them that have come to me, have been a source of strength during times of difficulty and I wish for some one else to beable to draw the same strength from them.

Blessings.

[Zaniah]

I don't have visions, but my significant other used do. He used to stare at things that 'weren't there' as a child, or wake up screaming or choking. There are long and involved stories to that, but I don't think he's seen anything in at least two years.

Although he did do a runic excorcism for a restless spirit in his workplace about a year and a half ago.

O.o

Do you post your visions elsewhere, such as a page or a webjournal, or write them down and keep them to yourself? I read your other post (newer, I think) and am fascinated by them.

The strange things only happen to the people around me. ;)

Zaniah

[cydira]

To be honest, I've no idea how on earth one does a web journal. :D I'm a techno-neophyte. That's what my fiancee is for, he understands this stuff and when my computer starts acting funny I have him banish the lesser demons that decide to inhabit it and make it act up. LOL

Mostly, I keep the stuff I see to myself. Like I said with that post a few days ago (I think I titled it "I'm playing Cassandra tonight" or something like that) I'm sorry if I disturbed anyone. I've has some bad experiences in sharing them publicly in a forum where people could have some kind of "real" access to me. It ranged from having a few crazies following me around, insisting that I was going to be barbecued for seeing things (let alone being pagan :rolleyes: ) to have a psychopath stalk me and try to get me involved in his little cult. <shudders> That was an unplesant experience, thank Goddess that I didn't get sucked into that mess farther then I did.

Umm... I've seen things since I was a little girl. As a child, I'd sit there, stare at a blank wall with the facination of most children watching TV. I'd hear things, see stuff that wasn't necessarily there. It wasn't like I was crazy or anything, but like I'd hear my Mom calling my name and she didn't, she was just thinking about me. Or, I'd see spirits of people who had passed on, like my Great-Grandmother.

I have visions of things that are rather small, like the scenerio of dropping a pencil in a specific setting, just about all the time. Larger things, like car accidents or the last major Ice storm to hit the area I live in, start with something small and come to me repeatedly, becoming more.. intense and detailed before it happens. Some times I think that saying something will make some of these horrible things come to pass, but other times, I think that not saying anything will make them come to pass.

I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that I see some pretty bad things. Stuff like car accidents where small children are injuried or something like prolonged suffering due to illness that really could have been avoided, stuff like that some times gets to me and I'll feel guilty for seeing anything.

My grandmother told me once that the reason why people see things and have pre-cognitive experiences is so that they can do what they can to help others and to prepair them for what is coming. It helps me cope with the more negative things that I've seen. <shrugs> I hope that answers your questions.

I do keep a running account of my visions, when I remember to write them down. I even try to check them for something that resembles an accuracy rate. With little stuff, I'm pretty good. But some of this larger stuff, I"m not so sure. I don't trust myself not to be biased for or against (depending on my self-esteem that day) and throw the whole thing off. Dropping pencils is one thing... you know what I mean?

[Zaniah]

Yes, that does answer my questions, thanks :)

I find it hard to keep a full record or accuracy notes even with the card readings I do. Since this occurs for you without notice, I imagine it's even harder. Good for you to have developed your gift even on the difficult days.

Light and Love,
Zaniah

[cydira]

It's hard for me to accept that this is a gift, though. It's easier for me to say that I"m a little better at it then some people and not as good as others. I think that any person can do this stuff, it's just a matter of practice. It's kinda like how any one can be a marathon runner, with some practice and effort.

For a long time, I had a big problem with uncontrolled visions coming to me. It happens a lot less now. I"m not sure what I'm doing differently, though. It may be the fact that I regularly use my various different divination tools or it could be meditation. I'm not sure. But it makes it a little less scary when one hits me out of the middle of no where. :)

[Siarlas]

Originally posted by cydira
For a long time, I had a big problem with uncontrolled visions coming to me. It happens a lot less now. I"m not sure what I'm doing differently, though. It may be the fact that I regularly use my various different divination tools or it could be meditation. I'm not sure. But it makes it a little less scary when one hits me out of the middle of no where. :)

Find out so you can tell me! I still have uncontrolled visions!

Just this morning when I was getting ready for work and listening to the radio while I was doing so, the news came on and there was one story about a hit and run. This poor little 9 yr old .... well.. I won't get into the rest of the details. It was bad enough listening to it, let alone retelling it. Anyhows... normally when I hear stories like that I tune out and think of other (better) things, but this time I was hit with this... scene in my mind. And as usual, it was a little hazy. All I saw was a dark green car from the back and all I saw of the driver was that he (I'm assuming it was male... looked male..) had short blondish hair. You know the kind that gets darker towards the roots?

Ugh... and now that I'm thinking about it, I'm getting the feeling that the driver panicked... but that's not what I was thinking after the report... My thoughts then were along the lines of 'how can someone do that?'

Anyway, other ones I remember are;
One time I was walking home from school (this was a time when we lived with my mom's boyfriend and he had odd work hours so I could never know if he was home or not). Anyway, I was always told to come straight home (common sense, no?), but sometimes I wanted to hang around about chatting with my friends. This particular day, I had done just that and when we all left for home, I saw (in my mind) Tony (mom's bf) leaning over the balcony looking for me. Didn't think much of it, but it did cause me to walk the path that leads under the balcony. When I got inside, Tony asked me where I'd been as he was looking out the balcony for me....

Earlier memory: Had this dream... Now, don't laugh, but I was in this game show called Sale of the Century (do you guys have that version over in the states?). I was much much older in my dream (I think I was physically 5 or 6) and during the show, these... bandits? thugs? terrorist? whatever burst into the studio and held everyone hostage (can't remember why). One of them held a stilleto to my throat (and no I don't mean a high heel shoe! :P ) and just as he was about to pierce my throat I woke up. It took a long time for the feeling of that knife at my throat to go away after I woke up....
Actually... that's not really a vision is it? But I just could never work out why I could still feel the knife at my throat...

[cydira]

That last one is a lucid dream. They feel alot like a vision, but there's usually something just too ... strange about them for them to be a vision.

I've been thinking about it, and I suspect that my actively using that part of my brain/soul/psyche that acts up and gives me random visions is what's controlling the tendancy for them to popup at random. I found that it was less likely to happen when I am on anti-depressants and that I've found it alot easier to control when I take my birth-control pill regularly.

Ahh... the joys of hormone therapy and the joys of being a woman. Before I was on the pill, I was a crazy woman and experiencing hormonal hell. :( I also had a *ton* of random visions. I'm thinking that there's something biological behind this random vision thing. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the seritonin in the brain or the balance of hormone chemistry. <shrugs> I'm still doing research. :)

[Siarlas]

Originally posted by cydira

That last one is a lucid dream. They feel alot like a vision, but there's usually something just too ... strange about them for them to be a vision.

I've been thinking about it, and I suspect that my actively using that part of my brain/soul/psyche that acts up and gives me random visions is what's controlling the tendancy for them to popup at random. I found that it was less likely to happen when I am on anti-depressants and that I've found it alot easier to control when I take my birth-control pill regularly.

Ahh... the joys of hormone therapy and the joys of being a woman. Before I was on the pill, I was a crazy woman and experiencing hormonal hell. :( I also had a *ton* of random visions. I'm thinking that there's something biological behind this random vision thing. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the seritonin in the brain or the balance of hormone chemistry. <shrugs> I'm still doing research. :)

ugh... I've been on the pill for about 10 years or so now... Maybe I just need to actively work on it...

[She-Arna]

I was experiencing a rather deep depression and I found myself on the verge of being suicidal. As I was standing there on the balcony on the second floor of the dorm, contemplating jumping off, I heard a voice behind me, calling my name. I turned, startled to hear a male voice in a women's dorm during the week at 3 am. I could almost see a tall form standing in the shadows behind me, but not clearly. His presence, however, was obvious. Quietly, I was told not to attempt to end my life and that he would determine my time, not me. Since then, I am pleased to say, no matter how depressed I've gotten, I haven't experienced suicidal thoughts. His quiet and stern voice is there at the back of my mind, reminding me of that very firm message

I've had a similar experience myself. I was in the middle of a minor mental breakdown, sitting on my floor crying, declaring I couldn't handle it and life was too hard. It was then I felt a strong male presence and a deep masculine voice tell me that I could infact handle it and not only that, I was going to pick myself up and go about handling it, because it was a challenge I needed to go through.

Since then I have known that the Gods will never let anything happen to you that you can't handle.

[cydira]

Sorry I haven't replied recently on this thread. I've been looking things up and giving it all some thought. :)

In the case of the pill and random visions, I believe that in my case it corrected a hormonal imbalance that probably encouraged me to have more frequent visions as well as some of the accompaning problems. I'm a firm believer that regular exercise of your psychic abilities (be it visions, telekenisis, anything) will give you more control and a better understanding of how it works.

I'm not too sure on if the Gods are giving us stuff that we can handle or not. Right now, I'm feeling awfuly overwhelmed, but I know that I can handle what's going on. There are some folks where they really are overwhelmed and they need a great deal of outside assistance to pass through the difficulties they are experiencing, if they manage to do so. I think that the Gods will give us support and encouragement, even letting us know what is right and wrong in a situation (like my contemplating suicide). I don't think, however, that they can give us what we can handle. I think we choose how we handle a situation and in some respects we have control over the situations we enter into.

Ultimately, however, I belive that there's a large degree of chance involved and that your apparent normalicy is due to a great deal of conserted effort by our socitey. I think that if we were removed from the environment that we were familiar with and dropped into an unfamiliar environment and exposed to the same psychological stressors, we'd have a very different reaction. But, that's just my theory too. All I can say on this, because I'm still evolving in my opinion on this matter, is that I'm disinclined to argue that the Gods are necessarily so powerful to know what exactly our limitations are.

It just doesn't agree with what I've come to understand about divinity. It places too many ... uncomfortable internal conflicts into the equation. <shrugs> Maeby I'll post some of my thoughts on the nature of divinity in the theology/philosophy forum.... <toddles off to the other forum, posting in the metaphysics thread>