Marriage

[nomadicdragon]

I hate to beg for some energy and prayers.. but I could use some. I'm having some problems with my husband... mostly i'm having trouble opening up emotionally too him... And i want to and i'm afraid if i don't it will cost my marriage... so if i could get some energy or prayers i would appreciate it so much

[Lunacie]

Sure, I'll send you energy and prayer to find your way to a good resolution. Would your hubby be willing to go with you to see a counselor or mediator? Sometimes when we face what seems to be an insurmountable fear, someone who isn't personally and emotionally involved can see a possibility or an option that we can't.

[nomadicdragon]

He would.. and i've been looking to find one in our area. I am trying to find one that i would be comfortable with.... He's agreed to be patient with me...

[Faery-Wings]

Good luck-

[Xentor]

((((((amwnhtg)))))))

I just thought of Dr. Phil.

Maybe I'm just crazy and this could be a really bad idea. But how about getting your husband to watch an episode of Dr. Phil with you, and then tell him you want to be emotionally open and honest, but have a problem with that, just like the people on Dr. Phil? Or does your husband already know that you have this problem? I read he agreed to be patient with you, so he's bound to be willing to invest in your relationship.

If you haven't told him about this yet, use some of our strength and tell him. Be open, be honest. Be truthfull to yourself. He'll respect that and in return will be open and honest himself. That means harsh words could be spoken, but that's not a bad thing in itself, for it means you are communicating openly.

Oh, listen to me. Problems with opening up have kept me from even starting a meaningful relationship. I've been watching too much of Dr. Phil. I should follow my own advice.

Nevertheless, you'll be in my thoughts, amwnhtg.

[nomadicdragon]

thank you.. yes he knows that i have trouble being open and he also knows the abuse that caused that trouble... but he has apparently gotten tired of it and threatnened divorce if it doesn't change.. but i don't think people can change overnight..

[mol]

You are in my prayers. Both of you.

[nomadicdragon]

thank you

[kblackthorne]

You're taking the right steps in seeking counseling.

Don't let finding exactly the right counselor become an obstacle you throw in the way, but do try to find one you can work with.


yes he knows that i have trouble being open and he also knows the abuse that caused that trouble...

I've been on both sides of this one, and know just how frustrating it can be -- for both of you. {I don't think there is any pain worse than seeing the woman you love hurting... and you can't help her... and you can't hold her... you can only watch her hurt.}

You might want to check out your local Rape Crisis hotline. They will be able to refer you to folks who specialize in dealing with the kind of trauma you've been through. Really -- it's OK to call. I used to work one of these hotlines -- call them. They're there to help. Even if the trauma happened years ago, they can help.

[LadyTerra]

I will be praying for you. I just fully opened to my boyfriend, and as difficult as it is, it changed our relationship into something amazing and perfect. I'll pray for your strength, and for his acceptance.

[nomadicdragon]

Thank you.. It's hard to be open... but at some point i have to trust i know that.