SIL had miscarriage and they blame us

[Enchanted Echoes]

LOTS of positive energy needed for many people. This is complicated. The long and the short of it is my husband's brother's wife had her second miscarriage Saturday and brother-in-law is blaming us, or saying it's what we wanted.

~*~*~*~ Edited to remove a lot of stuff that really didn't matter... I was venting and babbling due to stress. ~*~*~*~

Please... we all need a lot of positive energy to get through this. I am to the point of a nervous breakdown.

[Joshua]

I just read your post (I read it before you edited it). I can't overemphasize this: It is not your fault. It is not your husband's fault. You did not consciously or subconsciously sabotage their pregnancy. Neither you nor your husband did anything negative to their unborn child. They are grieving and angry, and when people are grieving and angry they can be irrational. They want to blame someone for their loss. This doesn't justify blaming you by any means, but it's importnat you understand the real reason your BIL lashed out at your husband. Deep down they know you and your husband are not at fault. They just lost their child and it's making them crazy. Let them go through the gieving process. Once they've mourned properly, talk to them. They know your heart. Their grief has robbed them of their ability to reason. It will pass. They will acknowledge that neither you nor your husband had anything to do with the death of their baby.

In the meantime, you and DH need to stick close together, and talk about this issue with each other. People close to you have just had a great loss. Whether they blame you or not, you two must be in pain as well. Right now you need to carry each other through this. You'll know when the time is right to carry BIL and his wife through. Blessings!

[Xentor]

I couldn't have said it better than Booleanicus.

Energy in abundance, (((EnchantedEchoes)))

[dawns_eve]

I agree with Booleanicus. Energy coming your way :rubhead:

[dragonkin]

Bool said it all. Energy on the way.

[Quiet Pagan]

I am sending energy your way! What a horrible thing for FAMILY to think and say!

[Autumn]

Energy being sent!!

When people grieve they sometimes say hurtful things...

:hugz:

[WynnJera]

Energy sent durring this difficult time :)

[Celticscryer]

:huddle: We already discussed this yesterday morning, my dear one, so you know my thoughts and feelings on the situation. This is not your fault, or DH's, in any way, shape or form. BIL & SIL are grieving, and lashing out at the first available targets, you. That knowledge doesn't lessen your pain, of course, but it is truth. :huddle:

Love you to pieces, dearest. Much love and positive energy coming your way.

[SacredWithin]

Those people blaiming you is no different than the Salem Witch trials of Massachusets in 1692. It's ridiculous and childish. You cannot totally blame them because they too are in a period of grief and they are probably blaming the Divine as well. I pray that they will find the courage to seek the truth and that blame does not go to you. *Sending Light and Love. Praying for Peace for the situation.*

[spitfire08]

Energy sent............ Love and understanding to all in need. Im sorry to hear about the loss, and will light a candle for your BIL and SIL and the unborn.

Love and Light to you at this difficult time.
spitfire

[Enchanted Echoes]

Thank you all.
Brother-in-law called to apologize for what he said. My husband (and I) are still shocked at what was said though. As if I would cause them to lose their baby. *sighs*

Thank you for the healing and positive energy. There is much healing to be done, by all of us.

[nomadicdragon]

((hugs)) & energy

[DixieWitch]

energies sent.

[Avalon]

Adding my :hugz: to the list...sorry to hear such bad news...

[Hoot]

Energy for love, strength, and healing. :hugz: