I always find this calms me...

[Raydreamer]

I always find this calms me when i come here to mysticwicks. So this is where i've turned to. And tonite i need some love.
I cant explain now or go into detail, but if anyones out there a hug would be beautiful right now. I feel so useless now and tired and worn out and so upset and im all cried out. I really need my family and i cant get to them. I cant really say much more at the moment. I haven't the energy to explain. But thankyou mol and semele for creating a place i can vent my sadness.

Peace, Raydreamer.

[mudweed]

Today, I have hugs to spare. ((((Raydreamer)))) :hugz:

I hope you get to feeling better soon: if you need to talk you know most of us have open PM boxes...

[Raydreamer]

thankyou mudweed! i really needed that! You have no idea how much it all helps! :)

[mudweed]

PS. I touched ya, too. You know, just for the extra energy boost! ;)

[Lunacie]

Sending hugs and wishes that things will look brighter for you real soon.

(((RayDreamer)))

[Hoot]

Raydreamer, sending you love along with a big hug of energy for strength and calm. :hugz: I hope you feel better soon, sweetie.

[Felidae]

(((Raydreamer)))

[morrigen]

:hugz: Hope it feels better soon.

[Tzhebee]

Great big group hug! :huddle:
And one from my daughter :hugz:
and from my other daughter :loveydove
and one from my son (who is much more "lovey-dovey" than either of my girls) :smoochypo
And some additional support :rubhead:
Oh yeah, and a :fpoke: for your Karma too!

[Lil Miss Witchy]

Sending you some (((HUGZ))) and energy!

[Enchanted Echoes]

*hugs*

[Desert_Yaqui]

((((((Raydreamer))))))

Here is a great big hug for you :hugz:

If you find yourself needing another, don't hesitate to ask. If you need to "talk" don't forget that the PM box is always open to you. :smooch:

[angelbaby]

:hugz: I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I hope you feel better soon, and my pm box is always open. Please feel free to use it. Here's another hug for good measure :hugz:

[spirit wind]

I always have hugs to spare! :)

Especially for anyone from MW that needs them.

So here is a couple to get you by.
:huddle: :huddle: :huddle: :huddle:

If you need anymore all you have to do is ask.

Hope things look brighter for you...

[dragonkin]

A big hug to you Raydreamer.

[LadyOak]

A hug for you... :hugz:

[Raydreamer]

Thanks so much peeps! I really needed that. It was a hectic nite. I haven't seen my sister or nephew in five months and been such a strain as my siblings and me are soooooo close. Thursday nite i had the chance to visit them all together in Switzerland for the weekend, and i was going to take that chance.
But then my fella looked so crestfallen. He'd really wanted to go too, (friends of ours were throwing a party out there so that's why he wanted to go) but he had decided it would be better if he didn't. I think he might've been jealous because I asked him if he thought i should go and he said no.
And then he went out so we didn't get a chance to talk about it properly at all. If i'd gone, i wouldn't have been able to set things right with us, and if i'd stayed, i would've resented him for making me feel i should stay for him.
And then my brothers girlfriend made it worse (not intentionally) by showing me recent pictures of my nephew Ki and it nearly broke my heart. My family was going to be all together in a beautiful snowy place and i had to choose between that and my boyfriend! I felt so awful and i didn't know what to do. I packed a bag, and then unpacked, and then packed again.
And then i realised that i couldn't go. No matter how much i wanted to and no matter how feasible it was, i had to stay because my fella was unhappy. And that's when it hit me. I was sobbing so much and i had a panic attack. And all i could do was hate the man that made me feel that way.
He came home that night in the early hours from his night out with his friends to see a famous saxophonist, and i never said a word about how i felt.
Although i said to him in the morning...."i wish you'd said it was okay for me to go."
and he said "i couldn't do that."
The funny thing is, i love him so much, and he's never done anything so hurtful before, but i don't think i can really forgive him. I managed the strength no to resent him and that took all my willpower!!
But i should be there right now with my family...and i'm not and although i'd like to think it's his fault, I know that it's really mine. I'm big enough and strong enough to do what i know i need to. I can't blame him for my decision, because it was mine at the end of the day.
*sigh*
Anyway...thankyou so much guys.....all of your support really really went to the heart. :hugz: