I don't know

[MoonDust]

I could really use some -I don't even know what to call it. You decide the energy that you think is going to help me along. I trust you all.
I'm in a funk.
I discovered it this afternoon. It takes me a while to get it but I do eventually.
My emotions are all disorganized. I'm not concentrating. I'm putting things off. I'm not being me.
I'm behind in my homework and it's not one's fault but my own. I put it off with any little thing I can think of. Working with clay has been very therapeutic and I'm proud of the results, but those few items I created was just me stalling and putting my studies off.
I can't. I can't do it. I can't let myself fall behind in school. I worked so hard to get here. Now I'm in a position where I can concentrate on school. I work in a job where they allow me the freedom to focus on my studies and get some work experience. I have people who love and support my decisions.
I have a love that is so proud of me and loves me as much as I love him.
I need to focus on school.
Get my grades back up.
Care and help out my mom
Pay attention to myself.
Start looking at what I have to start shipping for the move. Honestly, I need all this and I need time. Time to think. Time for myself. Time to cry.

I hate it when things don't go the way I tell them to.

[Gwyndara]

Take a deep breath hun, and here is some love and hugs and energy.

[Pesha]

{{{{MOONDUST}}}. All will be well. Deep breath and relax. Energies are flowing to you.

BB
DS.

[Nighthawk]

I imagine you will learn something here. I know not what. Not all "bad" times are bad. Sometimes they hide behind something bad to teach. I am sending energy to you so you can see the REAL answer. *hug*

[Rowan MoonDragon]

keep your chin up, sweetie. it'll be ok. I forgot how tough things can be at your age. I promise you everything will work out. I"m sending some energy to help a bit. :colorful:

[MoonDust]

Thanks all for putting up and helping a tired girl. I was exhausted last night. I stayed up 3 extra hours finishing homework after posting that and then only had 3 ½ hours of sleep before I had to get up and go to work.
Things were just piling up and honestly I saw no reprieve.
I’ve been under a lot of stress. My mom’s condition is worrying me far more than I’ve let on. I know it’s not as bad as it seems, but I’m just not used to seeing my mom (a very strong woman in my book) looking so weak and ill. I need her to be strong so I can fight with her!
I’ve got the guilt about my leaving home this September and moving clear across the country when I know my mom is ill.
I’m nervous about the upcoming move. It’s 5 months away but still it’s crazy. I’m changing my life drastically in the matter of hours. I’ll be in a new school, jobless, with out my mom and sisters for the first time in my life.
Now add to that stuff that floating in my head homework, heat exhaustion, hunger, an up coming exam, and just my love to blow things out of proportion… you get a ranty thread at 12:30 am.

[Dave the Druid]

Breathing is good, find a peaceful place in some natural setting and just listen. Let go and allow perspective to find it's place. Change is difficult but once through, it will seem easier.
:)