Amadore
September 12th, 2004, 05:06 PM
Blurting out all this information on a public site is making me somewhat uncomfortable, yet I feel it is necessary. Please, immature people; do not comment on this. The last thing I need is having more people thinking I;m a freak.
Well to start off, I've been a serious self-harmer since I was 10. I've tried to kill myself countless times, I've starved myself to the point of nearly dying, I've overdosed on pills before hoping that it would ease my mind... nope.
Finally, I started getting help, and now I am no longer as "corrupted." I no longer hurt myself, I am almost back to a healthy weight,a nd I'm happier. I changed schools to get rid of my old rep and to make new friends. However, I still get suicidal thoughts and I still get the urge to hurt myself all the time.
Lately, I've been becoming Pagan seriously into consideration, and I've finally decided that it's the one religion I would like to be a part of. Ever since I've been taking it seriously, I've been a lot happier. It's been helping me a lot.
So you're probably thinking, "What's the point of this thread?" Well these suicidal thoughts have been bothering me. I've tried to write songs or do sports to distract me from it, but they keep on coming back. Even when I'm perfectly happy, I still get these thoughts. I've also been getting nightmares lately, and have been waking up in my sleep. I've also been scaring myself lately... like, my baby neighbor across the street was crying nonstop and I started laughing like crazy. The baby's sadness brought so much joy to me. When I finally realized what I was doing, I got really scared and started crying immediately. What's wrong with me?!
Well to start off, I've been a serious self-harmer since I was 10. I've tried to kill myself countless times, I've starved myself to the point of nearly dying, I've overdosed on pills before hoping that it would ease my mind... nope.
Finally, I started getting help, and now I am no longer as "corrupted." I no longer hurt myself, I am almost back to a healthy weight,a nd I'm happier. I changed schools to get rid of my old rep and to make new friends. However, I still get suicidal thoughts and I still get the urge to hurt myself all the time.
Lately, I've been becoming Pagan seriously into consideration, and I've finally decided that it's the one religion I would like to be a part of. Ever since I've been taking it seriously, I've been a lot happier. It's been helping me a lot.
So you're probably thinking, "What's the point of this thread?" Well these suicidal thoughts have been bothering me. I've tried to write songs or do sports to distract me from it, but they keep on coming back. Even when I'm perfectly happy, I still get these thoughts. I've also been getting nightmares lately, and have been waking up in my sleep. I've also been scaring myself lately... like, my baby neighbor across the street was crying nonstop and I started laughing like crazy. The baby's sadness brought so much joy to me. When I finally realized what I was doing, I got really scared and started crying immediately. What's wrong with me?!