How Would I Interpret This Experience?

[sullysgoddess98]

My college had a Christmas party on Thursday, Dec. 9. I am married, and my husband is very controlling, and acts more like my prison warden than my husband. He did not want me to go, and fought with me for two hours, before I even decided if I was going to go. He had me so upset, and feeling down, that I was not even in the mood to go to a Christmas Party. He tries to control every aspect of my life, and I was just very depressed and DID NOT feel like going to a party, and contaminating the joyous event with my problems. However, my mom talked me into going, telling me I should not let him try to ruin my fun. So, I went.
The party was AWESOME.....They had Karaoke, and a game show. Although, I was very depressed about the way my hubby treats me, and controls me, I did my best to enjoy myself. The game show that was sponsered was called the MONEY TREE GAME SHOW. It was a show hosted by SEAN CARLIN- Comedian GEORGE CARLIN'S NEPHEW. I won some money it was not much, but the point is I would not have been there if my husband would have suceeded. I won for knowing the name of Queen's leadsinger-Freddy Mercury, and Biggest Tattoo.
After the show, after the floor cleared out, I asked Sean for an autograph, and he happily signed my book. We were a bit flirtatious with each other, and he assured me that he would be returning to our school to do another event. :smoochypo

I just don't know what to think of this whole situation.....

HELP..........

[Tarbh Nathroch]

I think it sucks you would be treated like that. I’m very glad to hear the party was fun though.

I have no real advice though, who am I to tell you to stab him in the eye (because it won’t kill him but it will NEVER heal). Me I would just not argue with him if he’s like that, just go do what you want and have more fun.

[Janus109]

Why do you need his permission to do something you want to do?

[Raven Reed]

What is your question? How to deal with hubbie or the Sean Carlin situation? I am a little confused.

I am glad you had a good time, though.

[btrsweet5747]

First of all, I would like to say that I am sorry that you are in a situation where you don't feel equal and appreciated by your husband. That is a very lonely and scary place to be.

OK, well, I think that, if you are able, that you need to stand up to your husband in one way or another. No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to treat another human being like a piece of property and try (or succeed) in controlling what the other says or does. The good news is that you are aware that he is doing this, and that you have someone to confide in with your Mother. Take a step back and assess this situation: do you really love and want to stay with your husband? Are you OK with the fact that he treats you this way? Do you feel as though you have the courage to do something about it, although it might be drastic? Once you have answered these questions and looked at the situation as objectively as you can, you will know what you are supposed to do.

I feel as though the answers to all our problems and questions lie somewhere in us and talking to others is just a means of finding the answers within ourselves. It is obvious that you are able to stand up to your husband because you went to the party. It is also obvious that you are fully aware of what this is doing to you, with him treating you this way. If you want to remain with your husband but you want things to change, there will have to be some drastic measures taken. If he is not willing to change for you, and you value yourself enough, then you need to get out of the situation.

As for Sean Carlin, I think you know that he is very probably not your "knight in shining armour" that will come and sweep you away from your husband. But he does embody a very important aspect in this whole situation- he showed you that A) You are attractive to other men and B) You are unhappy in the situation you are in right now enough to jepordize it with another man you just met. That sounds bad, but it is a good thing! If you are able to understand that you are an attractive woman and that you are willing to flirt with other men, then you just might be willing to do what it takes to get away from your husband, if you so choose. So, you see, Sean has nothing to do with this in and of himself- he just embodies the idea that you are able to like and be liked by someone who will potentially treat you the way you deserve.

I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds here, and that you take all this blabber for what it's worth- just a person on the internet looking at the situation you have given and trying to give some advice. Brightest blessings to you!! :wave:

[sullysgoddess98]

First of all, I would like to say that I am sorry that you are in a situation where you don't feel equal and appreciated by your husband. That is a very lonely and scary place to be.

OK, well, I think that, if you are able, that you need to stand up to your husband in one way or another. No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to treat another human being like a piece of property and try (or succeed) in controlling what the other says or does. The good news is that you are aware that he is doing this, and that you have someone to confide in with your Mother. Take a step back and assess this situation: do you really love and want to stay with your husband? Are you OK with the fact that he treats you this way? Do you feel as though you have the courage to do something about it, although it might be drastic? Once you have answered these questions and looked at the situation as objectively as you can, you will know what you are supposed to do.

I feel as though the answers to all our problems and questions lie somewhere in us and talking to others is just a means of finding the answers within ourselves. It is obvious that you are able to stand up to your husband because you went to the party. It is also obvious that you are fully aware of what this is doing to you, with him treating you this way. If you want to remain with your husband but you want things to change, there will have to be some drastic measures taken. If he is not willing to change for you, and you value yourself enough, then you need to get out of the situation.

As for Sean Carlin, I think you know that he is very probably not your "knight in shining armour" that will come and sweep you away from your husband. But he does embody a very important aspect in this whole situation- he showed you that A) You are attractive to other men and B) You are unhappy in the situation you are in right now enough to jepordize it with another man you just met. That sounds bad, but it is a good thing! If you are able to understand that you are an attractive woman and that you are willing to flirt with other men, then you just might be willing to do what it takes to get away from your husband, if you so choose. So, you see, Sean has nothing to do with this in and of himself- he just embodies the idea that you are able to like and be liked by someone who will potentially treat you the way you deserve.

I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds here, and that you take all this blabber for what it's worth- just a person on the internet looking at the situation you have given and trying to give some advice. Brightest blessings to you!! :wave:


I just wanted to thank you for all of your advice. I don't feel that you have over stepped your boundries. I would just like to say that I would never go out an cheat on my husband, because I wouldn't want him to do that to me. I would just leave him, but not hurt him in that manner. I just hope that he would show me the same respect. And yes, Sean is not the issue here, but it has helped like you have said for me to put more things into perspective.

Besides, I think Sean is a Hottie. However, the only celebrity which could possible jeoperdize my marriage would be my angel:

Sully Erna- Lead singer to Godsmack (LOL)

[misschief]

i know how ya feel. my hubby is like that too. don't know why i tolerate it... but i think i get a little closer to leaving every day. :)

[morrigan]

I would never put up with anyone controling me like that.. marriage is supposed to be a partnership not a dictatorship.. control is fine when it comes to fetishes and both parties are willing (WEG) but thats a different topic altogether..
in a situation like this you need to be strong.. its like when kids have to deal with bullies at school.. if they stand up for themselves enough times usually the bully will stop.. if you stand your ground consistantly chances are things will settle.. no one can control you unless you let them..
Blessed Be ~Morrigan~

[sullysgoddess98]

i know how ya feel. my hubby is like that too. don't know why i tolerate it... but i think i get a little closer to leaving every day. :)

I feel ya, girl!!!!!!! :ringaroun

[MorningDove030202]

What can I say? Marriage Counceling? I'm kinda in the same situation.

Dove