Feeling down....

[6th Angel]

I´m getting the xmas blues. I´m realizing that there is not enough money for me to even get my SO a simple present.
And my Daddy with his wife and my sisters and brother are all coming to my grandmas house for the holidays, and I can´t even chip in for food or give any presents.
My Dad hates my SO and he doesn´t want him to come with me to the xmas dinner. But my SO doesn´t have anybody else but me to spend xmas with. I don´t know where to be.
I never see my Dad, but my boyfriend is the most important person in my life. What do I do?
My SO says that I should spend it with them, that he´ll just get some beer and cook something at home and watch TV. :sadeyes: That just brakes my heart knowing he´s being so sweet to me. Why can´t my Dad accept him a little bit or make a small effort to get along for one night???? :wah2:

I need some advice and maybe some energy if you have to spare. This depression doesn´t let me think staright and I´m feeling overwhelmed over something that might not be that big a deal. Or is it? ................. HELP! :wah:

[DivineAthena]

*Big hugs and much energy sent*

Is it 100% sure that disaster will follow if your boyfriend comes with you to your grandma's house?

[Lady Jade]

I'd choose to decline the depressing family get together and stay home with your SO. If he's important to you, and it sounds like he is, you'll be glad you did.

I did that one year and we had bologna sandwiches and played yahtzee, we still talk about it 10 years later...

Good Luck whatever you choose and know you are not alone in being broke for the holidays.

EDIT* have you thought about calling your Dad and aksing him why SOI can't be included, that he will otherwise be alone for the day? Just a thought...

[violet rain]

Sending loving energies ((()))))))

[6th Angel]

Yes, disaster will follow. Last year when my Daddy came down for the holidays was when they met, a few days before xmas. We all went to a restaurant, then went downtown to walk around. Then he went back to my grandmas (which is in another city close by), so my SO said we should both go to this city and stay in a hotel so I could be closer to my family and him.
Well, my Dad practically ignored me. I called him to see what time we could meet and he would say things like "I am going by myself to buy tools", "I can´t right now, your sister is asleep", "Your grandma doesn´t like visitors" (BS, she loves company), etc.
I confronted him after he left and he said in a patronizing way "Well you where busy with your boyfriend". My Dad is such a drama queen. :mad:

I know my Dad has my best interests at heart, but he should put aside his misconceptions and think of how I feel with him. He thinks he´s no good for me. But my Dad is not here to see or judge how my life is with my SO. He has no idea and he shouldn´t be this way with him. I love him to death and he makes me very happy!
I accepted with nothing but love when he told me I had a 5 year old sister!!! She was born when he was still living with my mother. And I accepted this news with no bad feelings!

[6th Angel]

I know this situation might seem a bit dumb, but I get so easily depressed and this has got me overwhelmed.
I just need to talk maybe.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and energies. :smile:

[LadyTrinity]

:hugz:

[Pagan Taoist]

I'm not a father, but I am a godfather and guardian of my friend's daughters and there's one thing I know. When it comes to "daddy's little girl" no man will ever be good enough for you, not to mention I'm sure he feels rejected and hurt that you've found another man. However, your dad should be grown up enough to know you still love him, accept your choice, and be happy that you are happy. Perhaps you should just be honest with your dad, tell him you prefer not to come down because your SO doesn't feel welcome and you don't want to leave him home alone. Or ... just use the excuse that you can't afford the trip.

[DeerWolf]

Positive thoughts and enegy sent to you, your father, and your SO:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[OriginalWacky]

What about asking your Grandma yourself if your SO can come? If she is aware of the the issue, she can make sure she lets Dad know that SHE also agrees with him being there. If she isn't then she can be sure to help keep Dad and SO on good behavior to make her happier. Perhaps she can talk to your father about it, because I'm sure the rest of your family would miss you if you weren't there.

I think I personally would stay with the SO, but it would be a heart wrenching choice. My best to you and your SO and your famiy in this.

[Verthandi]

sending energy and hugs

[ObsidianSunrise]

I missed several family gatherings at one time because my mother said my SO (at that time) wasn't welcome and my grandmother wouldn't approve. After missing Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, my grandmother called me herself to invite me to Easter. When I told her Mom had said my SO wasn't welcomeand that I didn't feel welcome either. Grandma didn't know what had been said and was very quick to include my SO in the invite. I don't know what my grandma said to my mother but nothing was ever said again about my SO not being welcome. So I too say to talk to your Grandma. They have a way of taking care of situations like this. And if she should by some slim chance agree with your Dad then let her know you won't be there. It is a hard decision to make but sometimes it can't be helped. I know that my SO then and my husband now I would choose over a family gathering anytime where he wasn't welcome. I plan on spending the rest of my life with my husband and hopefully that will be a long time.

Calming, peaceful energy on the way for you! :hugz:

[6th Angel]

Thanks everyone for your good advice and energy.

I have decided to spend xmas eve with my SO and then go spend xmas day with my Dad, I will stay at my grandmas till the 29th, so I can come back and spend new years eve with my SO. This will give my Dad around 4 days to be with me.

I think this is the safest way to go about this..................I hope.

[Teresa]

Sending energies to You ! :hugz: You already have great advice here from others there is nothing I can add.

[magick_faerie]

i have been in the position at xmas where no-one likes the other one, its difficult. Does your dad have a reason for hating him??? if its not a erally good one try explaining to him that this bloke means more to you and this is supposed to be the season of goodwill.....try suggesting they sit at opposite ends of the table and are just civil, they dont have to play chrardes together!!!
last year my dad wasnt talking to me, my sister wasnt talking to my dad and all 3 sisters so's hated each other...believe me theres always a way to get round people being silly. As for having no money, theres no shame in it, your presence alone makes it worthwhile...and to your SO, more people should be like you and understand that xmas doesnt have to be fancy and cost a shedload of money as long as your with the people you love...my hugs and respect to you..

love and light freinds....may you truley enjoy Yuletide and may your life be rich with love and mutual respect.

Fae

[wooleybob]

Things will work out ...lots energy yer way.. :thumbsup: