A Bit More Detail on Our Circumstances...

[Yasmine Galenorn]

This is long and probably a little muddled, but Mercury has been retrograde and my thoughts have been like clouds, roiling through the skies in turmoil one moment, clear and calm the next. I thought long before posting this, but I've been here over a year and know enough of you now that I feel okay with talking about it. Think of it like an email...because it's what I've been sending out to friends.

I felt this is probably the place to put it rather than just talk, because I asked for energy and prayers here, and so think people can know what's going on right now.

As some of you know, there have been some serious health issues going on with my husband this week. I talked to him and we've agreed to just talk about it openly.

Sam went in to see the neurologist on Monday, which was the anniversary of his father's death. Well, the neurologist has revised his diagnosis, based on a test Sam had when he was there a week or so ago. Now the doctor is saying that he’s showing some nerve damage that is indicative of ALS, not PLS. That’s Lou Gering’s disease, and it’s fatal, in a really horrible, nasty way. He showed up home, crying, and the world fell apart right then.

However, the endocrinologist was saying that he thinks it might just be diabetic neuropathy. The neurologist disagrees. We have an endocrinology appointment in January—gives us some breathing space, but the damned VA called me the other day because we didn’t go to talk to them this week (we couldn't deal with it--why just listen to them reiterate 'you're going to die'?) and I can tell you, it sounds like neuro isn’t going to be willing to look at other ideas unless we hit them with proof ourselves. So we are holding off on going there. I hate the medical establishment right now--they misdiagnosed him with ALS four years ago. I'm praying that it's another screw up.

Needless to say, this week has been absolute hell on earth for us.

And we are muddling through. I’ve been throwing myself into intense nutritional and herbal research and am lucky I have some knowledgeable friends. I’ve got Sam on an array of safe and powerful supplements that boost both the immune system and work on nerve damage. We’re eating mostly organic veggies and meat (protein, good quality, is vital for both of us), and keeping a tight watch on his blood sugar. He’s going to the gym again now that his cold is almost gone—I think the tinctures and antioxidants the past few days knocked it out—and we’ll see how his legs respond to the workouts over the next few weeks. If they do, then I will guarantee you it’s not ALS. Both of us quit coffee this week and went on green tea, which satisfies some of the caffeine cravings but also provides a lot more benefits. It was surprisingly easy—I think the adrenaline rush and shock did most of it for us.

I’ve got to get my writing career pushed into high gear, which means a lot of work, because if Sam does have ALS, well, we’re going to be facing a lot of financial uncertainty to say the least, and if it is...after he’s gone, I’ll have to be able to support myself since--as of this moment--we don't have any insurance or any savings.

Right now, we are surviving. It’s still hard—the panic sets in and I hate that time in the morning when you wake up, before you remember that there’s anything wrong, and then the realization of what’s going on hits you. Sam is depressed, of course, but what can we say? What can we do? Just curl up in the corner and die right now? And if they’re wrong, in ten years, do we open our eyes and say “Oh, gee, we just wasted the last ten years crying?” Or if not, in five, do we regret spending our years together weeping instead of enjoying life?

I find myself really wishing I had my mother here so I could fall in her arms and cry, but that wouldn’t be the case—it’s a fantasy of what I wish was instead of what would be. It was the anniversary of her death a couple of days ago--not the best time (yeah, Sam's dad and my mother died the same week, different years, both of cancer).

We’re just starting to talk about the future again and what we might want and priorities in our lives which are: each other, our health, our work, our cats.

What I’m doing right now is setting up a crystal grid and doing intense crystal work focused on moving the chi in his body back into alignment. Praying that it's the neuropathy or something similar, rather than the ALS. We're not asking for miracles, just for a chance. And Pele has raised her head and is back in our lives again, stronger than ever--I've had a couple of physical encounters this week with her that left me reeling but going, yep, this is *real*. Right now, the energy workings we're doing are very Hawaiian and universal consciouness focused, and feel best directed in that way--Sam spent many years in Hawai'i and I've been pulled for many years to the islands and Pele, she is a regular and honored guest in our home.

My editor has given me a little more time on two of my deadlines, she’s being very kind and that helps. This week I should wrap up at least one of the books and the other by the end of next, though, because the work provides distraction, but man it's hard to get started in the morning.

Since Yule is coming up tomorrow eve, and Sam will be working, we decided to ignore the calendar and open our presents today. Sam got me two place settings of the Old Country Roses bone china that I love so much, and some Opium (my favorite)…and I got him the first three seasons of All Creatures Great & Small, which we both love. We had breakfast on fine china.

So tonight, we have a nice dinner, and every day we focus on working through the worry as we push our attention to what we both want—for him to be healthy and strong, for both of us to continue with our goals and dreams and lives together. I think it can happen...with a boost from the universe.

Love and hugs,
Yazzapanther :colorful:

[GryphonGirl]

Well, you got hugs from me for sure.... Calming and Healing Energies sent... :hugz:

[Ahautenites]

**hugs Yazza** I wish I could be there for you to give you a hug in person. I know you don't know me from Eve, but still, I feel so awful for the turmoil you and he must be feeling.

Some wise people (Wanderer and PB) have a saying, "All you can do is all you can do." From there, it's just a matter of trusting your gut to tell you whether to listen to a doctor or not. And *never*, *never*, NEVER listen to a doctor who doesn't give you any kind of hope. People are constantly told by doctors that they're going to die of some terminal disease or other in less than six months, but those same people go on to live for YEARS. Hope, determination, optimism, and faith that one won't die before the time is right.... these are what make the difference.

I was listening to the news yesterday morning, and they had a segment on about the benefits of healing with music. You might want to try that one with him. I know there's one song by Kenny G that lowers my blood pressure the moment I start listening to it. The theory behind the music treatment is that it conditions the cells to start working overtime in the healing process the moment your mind starts processing certain songs and sending out specific signals to the body.

[Kadynas]

:sadeyes: I feel your pain so deeply through your words and don't really have much I can say, except that you both will be in my thoughts and prayers. :hugz:

I don't know if Mercury Retrograde wreaks havoc with medical tests or not... heck Mercury's symbol was the cadeus (spelling?) though so I'm definitely hoping that they got their wires crossed and it isn't as bad as they think. Mercury's direct again on the 20th so maybe it would be a good idea to get a second, or third, opinion after that. Love & Light to you both... :hugz:

[GryphonGirl]

Yazza, this is nighthawk. I am sorry for your confusion and pain. I am wishing good fortune for you and Sam. I am also sending my love and energy...also, I am in the area, you know... and if you need company or something sometime... please let me know.

[Teresa]

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz: :hugz: :hugz: I will continue to burn candles for you both and send you all the calming centering energies I can spare to help You along. I will continue to include You both in my prayers as well . I understand some of what You are going and it is not an easy road. I know how hard it wil be some times to stay positive also;but You must remain positive and keep working together! :hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[Flar's Freyja]

How I wish we could sit down and share a cup of tea and a hug.....as you know, Flar's progressively getting worse, so your words really hit home. I feel what you're feeling: the panic, the sadness, the helplessness, the hopelessness, the hopefulness, the fear of hope and what will happen if you give up hope, the sheer terror - all of it.

The action you are taking can do nothing but help - even if the results are not what you want. But you know that.

You also know my feelings toward the medical profession. Those geniuses had quite a hand in ruining my life and I don't trust any of them. They are idiots. Follow your heart and intuition and guidance - it's been the path to miracles for many.

Please keep us posted as you can, and know that you're both in my prayers.

[morrigen]

Yazz...:hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz:

I cannot think of a single *helpful* thing to say or do...just know you are both in my thoughts and I wish I could reach over the oceans and help you.

Miracles do happen...just remember your unicorn....and know that They are watching over you both.

[Faery-Wings]

((((HUGE HUGS))))) Yazza. Hoping, praying and sending energy to you both.You are such a strong woman, and if anyone can pull your hubby through this, I *know* you can.
*lights canlde for healing and strength*

And Ses, tell PB and Wiggy- awesome quote.

[magick_faerie]

love and light to both of you, i hope you get through this horrible time with as little suffering as possible, may you both be happy for many years to come...
brightest blessings freind

fae

:hugz:hugz:

[Yasmine Galenorn]

...I just made an appointment with the acupuncturist for Thursday to go in and consult. I'm going to have my tendonitis worked on too...we're in a bit better spirits today--I mean, what else can we do but keep up the good work and focus on the fact that we think we can beat this, even though we're scared.

Yasmine :hugz:

[Rockprincess]

Agh, Yaz, I don't even have good words for you. I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts, and to hope that the diagnoses get cleared up in the most positive possible way.

[Verthandi]

calming and healing energy sent :hugz:

[Flar's Freyja]

...I just made an appointment with the acupuncturist for Thursday to go in and consult. I'm going to have my tendonitis worked on too...we're in a bit better spirits today--I mean, what else can we do but keep up the good work and focus on the fact that we think we can beat this, even though we're scared.

Yasmine :hugz:

Wonderful! I'm going to take some lessons from you and focus on the positive as well.

May Freyja wrap you in her arms and comfort you, may Odin give you the wisdom and guidance you need, may Thor smite all obstacles, and may Kali show you light in the darkness. So Mote It Be.

[FlyingBear]

:rubhead: :huddle: :loveydove :hugz: _pounce_

Strength and clarity to you, Yazz! Praying that things work out as best they can!! *BEAR SNUGS**

[semi]

I wish I could do something to help. It seems insignificant to to say "I hug you" but....hugs and peace and love and power to you to beat this.

[Calyx]

Oh Gods, Yazza. :hugz: Please know that you and Sam are in my prayers and thoughts. I know that there is nothing else I can say that will make it all better, even though I wish there was. :sadeyes: Just know that we are here for you both.

Sending you both calming and healing energy, and lots of it. :hugz:

[Avalon]

I will be lighting a candle for you on my Yule altar, and you certainly have my energies for Sam, and for you...

:hugz:

[OriginalWacky]

Ohmy. What a load of junk to deal with at any time, let alone the same time of a couple of sad anniversaries.

Would you mind terribly if I asked a friend of mine (herbalist) about this, and possibly got her in touch with you to see if there is anything else that you haven't thought of? Also, would you mind if I added you to the healing list at the Spiritualist church in Lily Dale?

Other than that, I'll continue to keep you and Sam in my thoughts. I won't stir you into the cauldron (don't wanna mess up your balance of enrgies), but I'll think happy fuzzy thoughts in your general direction for you to pick up on as needed.

Feel free to PM or message me any time you need.

Warm hugs,
Michy

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Ohmy. What a load of junk to deal with at any time, let alone the same time of a couple of sad anniversaries.

Would you mind terribly if I asked a friend of mine (herbalist) about this, and possibly got her in touch with you to see if there is anything else that you haven't thought of? Also, would you mind if I added you to the healing list at the Spiritualist church in Lily Dale?

Other than that, I'll continue to keep you and Sam in my thoughts. I won't stir you into the cauldron (don't wanna mess up your balance of enrgies), but I'll think happy fuzzy thoughts in your general direction for you to pick up on as needed.

Feel free to PM or message me any time you need.

Warm hugs,
Michy

Thanks...yeah, the past week has been crazy and harsh and extremely painful emotionally.

I'm really looking for info on immunotherapy and nerve regeneration via herbs/diet--have Sam started on some good stuff but am researching heavily. And no, all healing prayers--as long as they're not to convert--are more than welcome. I give the same offer to friends of all faiths--I am happy to pray for them for what they need, in my own frame of reference, but not trying to change them.

Yazza

[ObsidianSunrise]

Ahh, words of wisdom and comfort escape me right now. Perhaps it is my writers block starting to carry over into other areas of my life now. But it is more likely just the fact I can understand some of what you are going through and my mind is still dealing with a similar situation my family went through these past three years. I can honestly say though that having a positive attitude and the mind set that you will conquer whatever the diagnosis turns out to be is a very good thing. The power of the human mind and faith can do so much more than medical doctors. The dietary changes and natural therapies you are talking about I also believe are a good starting point.

My father was diagnosed three years ago in June of 2001 with stage 4 terminal renal cancer. He had the kidney removed and was told it had spread to his lungs and brain. He was given a series of Interlukein injections for two months and told he had maybe three months with nothing else to be done. Dad didn't take that as the final word. He and I did a lot of research on alternative therapies/herbal therapies and diet. He changed doctors and the doctor he was seeing at the last is now researching the same therapies due to the fact that Dad was able to be with us so much longer than the original doctor had said.

So do not give into what ever one doctor says. As Dads' last doctor said, in some things it is still a crap shoot in diagnosing and treating a lot of things. If one doctors attitude or manner doesn't set right with you and your husband seek another one that has qualities you are comfortable with. I know that isn't always easy to do. Perhaps it will take two or three other opinions before a diagnosis can be made with certainty.

Just know that I am sending out energy your way to use as you need it. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. I was and still am the one my Mom turns to in dealing with what she went through with my Dad, so I know about the pain, terror, stress and grief that your situation is causing you and your husband. I know that we don't know each other, but if you ever need to talk, I'll listen and help if I can. :hugz:

[Yasmine Galenorn]

So do not give into what ever one doctor says. As Dads' last doctor said, in some things it is still a crap shoot in diagnosing and treating a lot of things. If one doctors attitude or manner doesn't set right with you and your husband seek another one that has qualities you are comfortable with. I know that isn't always easy to do. Perhaps it will take two or three other opinions before a diagnosis can be made with certainty.

Yep...we've decided that, whatever this is, we're going to beat it--there's no way we'll let it strip away our lives and our joy, even in the midst of fear.

Hugs and thank you,
Yasmine

[MommyFortuna]

Brightest Blessings to you and yours. We will keep you in our hearts as you face your obstacles. Blessed Be.

[WynnJera]

Energy and love sent :hugz: PM me if you ever need to talk ....

http://www.evolutionconcepts.com/~wynnjera/images/smallcandleani.gif

[Old Witch]

Oh Yazza! You two are in my prayers constantly! May the Universe smile on you....

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Oh Yazza! You two are in my prayers constantly! May the Universe smile on you....

Thanks muchly, OW (and everybody). This is one of the hardest months we've had in four years, since they *first* diagnosed him with ALS (and it turned out to be wrong then), and my mom died that same month.

Yazza :colorful:

[Faeawyn]

I just found this thread Yaz and I'm so sorry for the pain you and Samwise are going thru. Your positive attitude will work miracles, and the love you two have for each other will surely carry you thru this. I have no doubt that together, you can beat it. My love to you both. Please let me know if theres ever anything I can do to help :hugz:

[Hippywitch]

I'll be doing a full moon blessing this week and was intending to send light to those who need it, you're on the list now. Every little helps eh?!
Bright blessings to the pair of you.

[Alkhemia]

Yasmine:

I am really sorry to hear this and I will, of course, keep you and Sam in my thoughts. You were absolutely instrumental in getting me to re-think my opinion of witchcraft (after associating it with fluffiness for years), your books are really wonderful and you have been such an asset to the Pagan community - you and Sam deserve to have all the happiness in the world.

I'm just very sorry to hear of these unfortunate events. :(


Alkhemia

[Shatril]

:hugz: (((((Comfort and Strength)))) sent. Attitude is 1/2 the battle and you two seem to have a good attitude.

Shatril

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Thanks guys--again. We saw the acupuncurist yesterday and he thinks he can at least alleviate or reduce some of Sam's symptoms. We're going to start him in on treatments right after the new year. I'm moving from fear into anger--not at Sam, don't worry about that--but just anger and irritation that the universe is tossing more crap our way. I'm fed up and things are going to change for the better. Period. I played doormat most of my life, my husband and I aren't going to be stepping stones for experiments in illness. (You watch, in a couple hours, I'll be all teary-eyed again, :) ) Anger is good though, I can work magically with anger--it's the fear that freezes me and keeps me from acting.

Hugs and thank you again guys, your support really helps,
Yazza

[LadyAutumnCat]

Sending energy your way. I just read this. I really hope that the neurologist was wrong.

[Carickah]

Thanks guys--again. We saw the acupuncurist yesterday and he thinks he can at least alleviate or reduce some of Sam's symptoms. We're going to start him in on treatments right after the new year. I'm moving from fear into anger--not at Sam, don't worry about that--but just anger and irritation that the universe is tossing more crap our way. I'm fed up and things are going to change for the better. Period. I played doormat most of my life, my husband and I aren't going to be stepping stones for experiments in illness. (You watch, in a couple hours, I'll be all teary-eyed again, :) ) Anger is good though, I can work magically with anger--it's the fear that freezes me and keeps me from acting.

Hugs and thank you again guys, your support really helps,
Yazza
Yazz,

I just found this thread and want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Samwise and I have every expectation that the two of you will beat this series of problems. Accupuncture is a wonderful healing tool. I always believed in it then I went to someone for my knees and was amazed just how much it helped. I really am glad that you are working on this from many different perspectives, attacking from different fronts if you will.

Much healing, hope, and energy for you guys as you work through this trial.



k

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Yazz,

I just found this thread and want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Samwise and I have every expectation that the two of you will beat this series of problems. Accupuncture is a wonderful healing tool. I always believed in it then I went to someone for my knees and was amazed just how much it helped. I really am glad that you are working on this from many different perspectives, attacking from different fronts if you will.

Much healing, hope, and energy for you guys as you work through this trial.


k

Thank you...it's hard, still, to cope with the thought of what it *might* be. I'm finding I'm a lot more short tempered toward others (not Sam) and that I'm just too tired to do as much as I was doing--but have to anyway, because I have deadlines that must be met, etc. We'll let you know what happens, we start his course of treatments on the 3rd.

Yasmine

[WandererInGray]

:hugz: Love you guys, sweetie. Been thinking of you both constantly this past week.

[moria636]

you are in my thoughts... energy sent...may there be the best of luck and fortune in your lives

[Yasmine Galenorn]

:hugz: Love you guys, sweetie. Been thinking of you both constantly this past week.

Hey sweetie...yeah, it's been one hell of a week. I hate December now. Too much bad stuff. And then I look at things like the quake and tidal waves in Indonesia today, and I feel awful for complaining and try to find it in me to give thanks that I'm not there--that I'm not facing immediate and total catastrophic destruction. Seriously...you have to find *something* to be thankful for when you're facing dark days, or you go crazy.

Yazza :colorful:

[Ulu]

Oh my, what a horrible situation to be going through. I'll send Reiki to both of you.

Don't hesitate to ask for a miracle. In your situation it would be a good idea to ask everyone you come into contact with to please pray for a miracle for Sam. Miracles do happen and theres no reason to not expect one in this case. I swear, that simple phrase,"Please pray for a miracle for sam", will do wonders. It's something quick people can do and they feel as though they have helped, which they have. I know this from personal experience.

Also a good energy worker can help alot. Try to find one in you area. The good ones have a sliding scale to help everyone. The one I contacted "found" a gift certificate for me.

And last but not not least heres a great link The Distance Healing Network (www.the-dhn.com) These people can really help.

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Oh my, what a horrible situation to be going through. I'll send Reiki to both of you.

Don't hesitate to ask for a miracle. In your situation it would be a good idea to ask everyone you come into contact with to please pray for a miracle for Sam. Miracles do happen and theres no reason to not expect one in this case. I swear, that simple phrase,"Please pray for a miracle for sam", will do wonders. It's something quick people can do and they feel as though they have helped, which they have. I know this from personal experience.

Also a good energy worker can help alot. Try to find one in you area. The good ones have a sliding scale to help everyone. The one I contacted "found" a gift certificate for me.

And last but not not least heres a great link The Distance Healing Network (www.the-dhn.com) These people can really help.

Thank you for your well-wishes. I appreciate your thoughts but please do NOT send Reiki...I am a 3rd degree Reiki Master and this is one situation that we don't want to use it--Reiki can push conditions into crisis mode. Learned that both from my teacher and the hard way.

We're working with a lot of crystal meditation and the like at this point, as well as intensive nutritional and herbal work and acupuncture and exercise.

So we'll see what goes down.
Thank you again,
Yasmine

[Ulu]

As you wish, but my experiences have been very different. I am a 3rd degree also and teach.

[Yasmine Galenorn]

As you wish, but my experiences have been very different. I am a 3rd degree also and teach.

It varies...I've seen people permanently disfigured because healing was started too early, before the natural healing process could begin (a good friend of mine, in fact), and Reiki can push a condition into crisis stage, especially if you're not clear on what's wrong. And yeah, I teach too, or used to--I rarely do initiations anymore...only when spirit guides me to.

Bright Blessings,
Yasmine