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Doorways and Keys

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  • Doorways and Keys

    I need to give my thanks to You. My call was answered in a spectacular manner. It seems, Mother and Father, that you always know just exactly what I need, and as long as I ask respectfully and open ended, I know, with confindence, that You will answer. Thank You for granting me the strength and lending me the energy for my will to become reality. Thank You for everthing.

    Beloved Mother
    Beloved Father
    I am yours
    Proudly
    lovingly
    with devotion
    You are my guide in the forest because You are the forest
    You are my light in the shadows because the shadows are Yours
    I am stronger for knowing You
    I am wiser for Your teachings
    I am Your daughter
    with brightest of blessings

    “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
    That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
    -snapdragon-

  • #2
    alone again, naturally

    And so i am sitting here trying hard not to think of things that i just know, i KNOW that i should not think on. I wonder if there is a bottom to the well that is me. How often can i give bits and pieces of myself away, will there be anything left for myself? I wonder about people sometimes, do other people feel things the same way that i do? Do men feel anything at all? Ok, ok, not fair. maybe i have just had atrocious luck when it comes to people that i care about. At first i was afraid because i did not feel anything at all, so i asked about it. I asked if that was all there would be for me now, just stone and cold. Then everything changed. I opened myself up. I was disappointed again. I wonder when i get to be demanding of someone. When am i the one thing that is most neccessasary. Will i always be the one to sacrafice? Must I be?

    From darkness to light to dark again
    the fight goes on
    in shadows i walk the path again
    and life goes on
    the sleeper awakened now dozes again
    the time has come
    the fire that burns now dampened again
    i've come undone

    Beloved Mother and Father, forgive me, but my patience wears thin. I am slowly loosing my faith in humanity as an entity, be with me now, stand at my back, your hands on my shoulders so that i may persevere.

    with love
    your daughter.

    “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
    That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
    -snapdragon-

    Comment


    • #3
      Bright and round
      Fresh and keen

      Circle again
      Come back clean

      For all that was
      And might have been

      Has passed away
      Is left unseen

      Now to the future
      Burning bright

      I shine this sacred
      Candle light

      Provide me now
      With what I need

      My will is word
      This call I heed

      Beloved Mother and Father. The interview went well, very very well! I really need this job, it's perfect for me! Please look kindly upon your child, and keep close to me. I'm trying very hard to remain optimistic, but I have had som many disappointments lately. Stand by my now. Bright Blessings

      “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
      That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
      -snapdragon-

      Comment


      • #4
        Please, Please, Please

        I don't know how much longer I can handle this crap. At first I was concerend because I did not feel anything, but now it's like the flood gates are opened. It feels different than before, I think theres more rage here now, I was better off with stone. I don't know how much more I can take. How many more times do I have to go through this, theres not much more of me left to flay and bleed. Is this my life? do i have to keep giving until i disappear?

        I need cool water, I need a warm spring day, I need a quiet forest, a sand dune, a river bank.

        I need to be fresh and clean, I need to be quiesent, I need to be peacefull, I need to be content.

        I need a true companion, I need partnership, I need to be loved, I need

        and it makes me sick. I always thought I was stronger than this, that i was self-suffecient, I hate that I feel weak and damaged. I used to be able to handle the shit that life give, but then again I used to have other resources (you know what I mean) am I really that dependant?

        I don't want to be angry and bitter anymore
        I don't want to look at happy people and feel resenful and jealous

        sad

        let the balance be restored.

        “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
        That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
        -snapdragon-

        Comment


        • #5
          Beloved Mother and Father

          So often you amaze me. I feel like today was a direct gift from you to me. The job is mine, and then today when Redcraft and I were driving down the street I said to her "everythings finally looking up, now I just need to find **** and everything will be in place" I was just joking! I did'nt think it would really work out that way. She turned to me and said "you mean like right there" pointing out the window. Astounding!

          I owe you so much right now. If not for you and your love I just don't think I would have been able to survive. I know that the hard times are not over yet, but at least I feel like I'm on the other side of the mountain now, the potential exists, and for that I thank You.

          Most beloved Goddess and God
          Into Your hands I place my heart

          “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
          That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
          -snapdragon-

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks for the good day, I'm exhausted, but I know I'm not in over my head this time.

            Brightest Blessings

            “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
            That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
            -snapdragon-

            Comment


            • #7
              Ok, so it happened again today, and as usual, I froze, I got a bad case of the clutch. When do i figure this out? I feel like such a child sometimes.

              By golden sun
              And silvery moon

              To me, Mother
              Send it soon

              That which I need
              For peace of mind

              And to my side
              So close do bind

              The answer to
              My soulfull cry

              Let not again
              It pass me by

              Open my eyes
              Allow me to see

              The gift that I know
              You'll be sending to me

              Give me the sight to know what I see
              As I do will, So shall it be.

              “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
              That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
              -snapdragon-

              Comment


              • #8
                Please help me

                just when i thought that door was closed for good, (not locked though, never locked) it comes back to haunt me.

                please help

                when will it be done? when will it finally be fu**ing done! When doed it get to be over and done with.

                help

                I just cant take that coming back to me. I barely survived the first time. I thought it was over. I was so proud that i lived through the hurricane. and now like some bad horror flick (oh, the irony) he comes back without even coming back! just the name is enough to do this to me.

                please help

                im desperate, and scared. I want to let this go, i thought i was doing a good job. i dont want this anymore.

                please help, make it stop

                i know i used to be sick about it. i would drag myself through the mud over and over again and there was something gratifying about it. but i just cant do it anymore. ten years is long enough

                help me stop this

                to add to that, I just cant seem to open new doors, new paths, a new life, i want that. I want all of this to stay in the past. I just cant do it again. i dont know where to turn

                please

                let me let go, let go let go. ive done my time on this one. does'nt it count for anything that i walked away? don't i get any karmic credit on this one? I'm so tired

                help

                I'm trying to keep control, i'm slipping. if today had been different. maybe. "i can still make a fist". pirate. why cant i figure it out. lost opportunity. goodbyes hurt forever. I want to cut that part out of me. going downhill here.

                stop this

                why does this keep coming back to me? why do i take the bait? why can't i? lose. it's not enough. i don't want to remember anymore. a new life, a new day. SSDD.

                just stop it

                pour it away, like grey water. down the drain and far away. no more bs ok? its not fair that something this small can unhinge me like this. ruined chances? did i blow it again today? will i ever be able to know?

                just make it end.

                torture me, bleed me out, cut it away, tear it off, stop

                “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                -snapdragon-

                Comment


                • #9
                  I feel a bit better this morning, thank you.

                  “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                  That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                  -snapdragon-

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oookay, a little less confusion would be mightily appreciated right about now. What the heck is going on here? At least I was able to recognize it for what it was, even if i didn't want to. yikes. Oh well, all good things right? Maybe in the future things will be different. My thoughts and prayers are with JJ, Mother and Father, let him be happy, let him see clearly, guide him to make concious choices and positive decisions. Also with BN. Help him heal. Let him know that I am with him in my heart. Let him feel the love you have for him. As I will, so it shall be.

                    “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                    That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                    -snapdragon-

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Mother and Father, help me find patience. She is my best friend, my cousin. I have to let her be happy. I don’t want any of my bitterness to leak through to her, its mine alone. My sadness is mine, and might I add, it has been receding lately, that should please me. It’s just that when she tells me these things are hers, I am jealous. The feeling is not worthy of me. It is not fair of me. I am trying so hard Mother and Father, to remember what that kind of joy feels like. I know that eventually, I will feel that myself, that I will find that piece of my life, and everything will fall into place. It’s just so hard sometimes to remember that. To remember that there is only so much I can handle at any given time anyways. That it may be for the best that I focus only on my job right now (not like its not enough of a challenge or anything!) I am most definitely on my way to feeling complete again. Now I have a position where I am competent, respected and valued in the work place. For now that is enough.


                      The Wheel turns at it’s own pace
                      To each one, their own place

                      Down the path, we walk along
                      To find the place where we belong

                      Fulfilled, complete, the perfect fit
                      Here, tranquility now does sit

                      Inside the heart the answers found
                      Once again, the wheel spins round

                      The days march by one then another
                      Now I live this life, as I have no other

                      Take each moment, make it my own
                      With you at my side, I am never alone

                      Show me your kindness, patience and peace
                      Let the despair, and the confusion now cease

                      Lend me your strength, your wisdom, perception
                      Newly aware, full of fresh comprehension

                      Tolerance enduring, unwearied, serene
                      Replace this frustration with love that is clean

                      By the light of Moon and Sun
                      As I will, it shall be done

                      By the power of earth and sea
                      As I say, so it shall be

                      Onto brighter days:
                      The tarot are at your feet. I will need your blessings soon. I see no other way, that’s ok, I don’t mind. My love and thanks in advance. Brightest Blessings to JJ and BN again. They both need it. Thank you for helping me to clear my heart and mind regarding JJ. I now see much more clearly, there is no pain really, just a little sting, and a shake of my head in amusement. I want him to be happy. Please help him be happy. Even if I don’t agree with the path he chooses. Let it be real for him. BN, what can I say. I wish I could ask for more, but no, I can’t. I know why, no worries there, I know better. I just wish...

                      “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                      That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                      -snapdragon-

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm tired tonight, and tomarrow is going to be long. Thank you for a good day, thanks and blessings to my MW family, you have given me a place I appreciate more every day, because I don't feel lonely here. Thats saying alot. I don't feel unwanted or out of place, I need that in my life. tranquility comes with exhaustion. I am too tired to care? no, I think i'm just sort of content tonight. I ask for your help in the coming days, help me to be as strong and capable as I know I can be. Help me to be wise and collected as I step into my new position. Help me to maintain focus on what i need to do, to stay on task and directed. Mother and Father, thank you for your love. Thank you for your guidance, for helping me to find my path. for helping me to find a way to live.

                        “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                        That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                        -snapdragon-

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I don't want you to leave, please

                          “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                          That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                          -snapdragon-

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Most beloved Mother and Father, when did this begin? How did this happen? Finally, it seems, I have something. My questions answered. I saw the test for what it was (in hindsight), and I passed. I begged for the clarity to make wise decisions, and I see now that, to some degree, it has come to me. Many many thanks to you. His face is like music to me. His presence a soothing balm, calm waters to put out my fears and anxieties. A river, smooth, deep, cool and refreshing. He is so sweet to me. Kindness like I have never known. He seeks me out, looking for me. He misses me when I am not around. Raven says that he looks at me with love, I hope she’s right. I love his hands, his eyes. Raven also says that he looks at me when I am not paying attention, I love that too. Finally a little bit of peace. I worry about the time limit though. Will this all fall through? Some part of me feels that it will not be an issue, that things will work out this time. I am cautiously optimistic. Do I propose the question that is on my mind? It would be to our mutual benefit, but perhaps too many strings for one such as him. I am not sure. I am trying so hard to live in the moment, but it is difficult for me now, especially with what happened today. Ryan told him today that he thinks we are a spiritually suited pair, that we are good for each other. I agree. I could love him so much I think, if its safe, if I allow it. This time it will be a choice I make. We will see. Thursday I think will tell me much about what I should do. On this night of the full moon I give my love and praise to you. Thank you for everything you have done and everything you will do. I remain ever your daughter.

                            Invidosa

                            “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                            That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                            -snapdragon-

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              One day at a time, thats all i can handle. What is the lesson here? curious detachment seems to be a good thing in this case. so fragile are the threads, spun glass. like a brick wall, this one is unreadable and obtuse. I will continue to work on it.

                              my heart is yours
                              invidosa

                              “I think witches, of all people, are attuned to the weird.
                              That's how we get our rep, I suppose.”
                              -snapdragon-

                              Comment

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