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  • Interfaith mates?

    Okay, this is the best place I could find to place my inquiry. I'm 17 going on 18, and am rather attatched to my mate, whom I've been with for a few months now.Our relationship is still young, but we've already hit a snag.

    Naturally, he's Christian, and I'm Pagan. I don't see anything wrong with this, but it makes him uncomfortable. Because I hold the basic Wiccan beliefs close to me, he worries. He worries, since it's a young religion, I'm entrusting my soul to something created less than 80 years ago by a pervert.

    o.o; Honestly, I won't deny that part. Evidence shows Gardener was a pervert, and Wicca was founded by him and a few others. But...does anyone have advice? I'd like to try and convince him to back down a little and trust my beliefs. He's a real sweetheart.

    Plus, he gladly ate my Samhain cakes. I dunno what his problem is!
    "Tsuki no Hikari wa Ai no MESSAGE."

    The best things in life cost under $3.00!
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    "Wacky!!? What the hell kind of word is that!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excrutiatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!!! FOOK!"- said by the hottest Homicidal Maniac ever to walk the Lady's green earth. If you don't know who, your loss!

    *proud Bishounen watcher and J. Vasquez fanatic!*

  • #2
    Get a copy of Pagans & Christians by Gus Di Zerega. Both of you should read it. It will help a lot.

    Gardner was probably a pervert. He was also a genius and managed to synthesize a ritual format which works for many people. The one doesn't negate the other. We can respect what the man did without liking him personally very much.

    Paganism, by the way, is not dependent upon Gardner. It was developing into a major movement all through the last century and would have happened anyway without him, just probably in a different form. He was very important, and possibly the greatest influence on the development of modern Paganism, but by no means essential.
    Blessed be!

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    • #3
      Christianity was also once only 80 years old. It is also based on the teachings of someone who, as a practicing Jew, was considered by most of those of his religion to be radical and blasphamous. He was no doubt considered by some to also have loose morals as he talked to women freely, befriended a prostitute, hung out with tax collectors (considered to be one of the lowest groups) and generally kept company with sinners as opposed to the righteous.

      My husband, family, friends and coworkers are christian. IMO, concentrating on the similarites in your beliefs (not really the religions so much as the beliefs) helps. You may also want to lead him towards books that you feel explain your beliefs. It may actually be a great way to grow together and get to know each other better.

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      • #4
        I can understand your situation - my last ex was atheist, and we started dating just as I found Wicca. We were together for 3 years and I wasn't even allowed to speak of my beliefs because he thought they were foolish. Needless to say, without mutual respect, a real relationship can't work out.

        I just saw a book in the store last night called, I believe, "When someone you love is Pagan", or something like that. You might want to look for it. There's also those thin little books on what wicca or paganism are, that you could get to show him. I can understand his concern, and I hope you can help him understand - he cares for you and wants to make sure everything's ok, but at the same time make sure he has the respect and patience to understand your feelings.

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        • #5
          I've always found Scott Cunningham's "The Truth about Witchcraft Today" to be of tremendous help, when trying to help someone understand wiccan belief.
          Lucas Michael, you are with me still. Not a day will go by that I won't remember. Lucas Michael Demascena con. 5/15, dec. 6/29. Wait for me.

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          • #6
            My current boyfriend doesn't really believe in anything, he doesn't know a lot about Witchcraft and Paganism. But we get into good debates about thoughts and ideas. Which I enjoy. But he respects my beliefs and is very open minded.

            The main thing is ... you need mutual respect. Learn and maybe go to church with him. Then share a bit of your religion with him.
            -jeleia



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            • #7
              I've offered to go to chruch with him, and he appreciates it. I've asked him, but I don't know why he has a problem with it. It doesn't seem to get in our way, luckily, religion rarely comes up.

              Thanks for the advice, everyone.
              "Tsuki no Hikari wa Ai no MESSAGE."

              The best things in life cost under $3.00!
              :mmm:
              Comic Books : $2.95
              Kiwis : $0.50
              and Icees ( ) : $1.49

              "Wacky!!? What the hell kind of word is that!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excrutiatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!!! FOOK!"- said by the hottest Homicidal Maniac ever to walk the Lady's green earth. If you don't know who, your loss!

              *proud Bishounen watcher and J. Vasquez fanatic!*

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              • #8
                Tell him to make an account.
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                No community rules for you!

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                • #9
                  I am currently dating a Catholic, but when it comes to marriage, only Pagans....and maybe Athiest/Agnostic need apply. I have no desire to fight over wedding location, methods of child rearing, what holidays to celebrate etc.

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                  • #10
                    My fiance' is Christian but our beliefs and values are very similar. And I think he's a bit of a radical Christian - he has a theory that the "rapture" has already occurred........

                    When I tell him he thinks like a pagan, he tells me that I think like a Christian ~ and one of my beliefs is that most paths are basically at their core, so that fits. He will attend pagan social gatherings with me, but not spiritual gatherings or ritual ~ yet he has agreed to handfasting ritual rather than a Christian rite. There are a few points that we mildly disagree on, but these are not a problem because the communication in our relationship is excellent and we are both open-minded and willing to consider other views.

                    I agree with the book recommendations above, and the best way that you can show him that our path is not silly or evil is by example ~ conducting yourself in a manner befitting one of the Old Religion and the Craft of the Wise
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                    • #11
                      I know my opinions might not be very popular. I think of the Pagan path as the oldest path in the lines of religion. I figure it was around before Christianity. Just because the modern ritualization of this path is rather new, dosent mean it has any less validity than any of the other popular religions of today.

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                      • #12
                        You might also give him a good book on the real sources of Wicca - I would recommend "Triumph of the Moon: A history of Modern Pagan Witchcraft" by Ronald Hutton.
                        "It is a good divine that follows his own instructions."
                        Portia,
                        Merchant of Venice, I.2

                        "If making oatmeal cookies with bugs instead of raisins is wrong, then I don't want to be right" - Bucky Katt

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                        • #13
                          *Bringing back an old thread.* My mate and I have been together for three years. Recently, he converted to Islam while I am still "searching." He knows that I have been looking at Pagan paths but sometimes I think that it unnerves him. He usually asks me what I'm looking at while I'm on the internet. When I'm looking at Pagan sites I just tell him that I'm doing research without being specific. I'm not sure how to explain to him where I want to be spiritually when I'm not sure myself. Future complications are that we have intentions of getting married one day. My family has gotten more into their Christian beliefs recently and my mate is the only one I feel would somehow understand what I'm going through. I guess what I'm asking is can anyone offer any advice on how I should approach this situation?
                          Unicorn: No, don't look back, and don't run. You must never run from anything immortal it attracts their attention. --"The Last Unicorn"

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