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When it ends

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  • When it ends

    About a year and a half ago, my wife, one of our friends, and I undertook an experiment we called the Artists' Cabal. We were a gathering of Pagans and the Paganesque who saw the creation of art as central to our spiritual and magical practice. It went really well for about 6 months, sort of OK for another 6, and then just...petered out.

    As of last night, the Artists' Cabal is officially caput. We finally said the words out loud. It hurts, but now we are all truly free to pursue other roads. We all learned a lot from the experience.

    Who else has experience with covens or other groups that ended? What lessons did you take with you into future group(s)?
    If you're lucky you'll find something that reflects you,
    helps you feel your life protects you,
    cradles you and connects you to everything.
    Dar Williams, "The Hudson"

  • #2
    I've been part of groups that ended:
    • Been member of the board of a music band of 50 people; the board got disbanded by the band due to differences in opinion about the director. Later on the band took the same position as the board and hired a different director. Unfortunately they did not rechoose the board.
    • Been member of the board of a local political party. The board had problems with an influential member. Later on that member left the party. Unfortunately by that time the board had gotten disbanded by the membership due to that member's influence.
    • Still am member of two music bands that formed great difficulty with their directors and got over it by switching directors. These bands have lost some members, but are now going strong and gaining in size and quality.

    I know this isn't the same as a religious group, but I've never had the misfortune of being member of a dysfunctional religious group. Did I learn from it? Obviously I learnt to deal with less pleasant circumstances, learnt to deal with people whose influence turns detrimental, learnt to take responsibility and distance.

    The most important thing I learnt, is that everything is possible when I set my mind to it.
    Xentor, your friendly-neighbourhood Checkerist
    Contact me | The Dialogues on Checkerism


    • #3
      I've been in a couple of groups that had run their course. Personally, I prefer acknowledging it and freeing everyone up to move on, and have run into interference from people who are uncomfortable with that.

      you know, when the energy is clearly not there, but they keep trying to talk someone into trying one more thing, holding one more ritual, giving one more pep talk...and then they don't show up to the event they rooted for...that sort of thing.

      I think many "groups" are waves on an ocean...they exist for a finite amount of time, when the conditions are right...and then the water that made the wave returns to the larger ocean and gets together with other water molecules and does it's thing somewhere else. Trying to force these things to function beyond their natural lifespan does more harm than good.

      The lifespan varies...from one evening to....who knows?

      I've definitely mourned the passing of some groups, and let that hunger carry me toward the next worthwhile project.
      In a love affair with sunshine

      Live this day like an altar to what you believe


      • #4
        Who else has experience with covens or other groups that ended? What lessons did you take with you into future group(s)?
        The coven I was in ended due to people moving and others who just did not want to continue. And I am still not quiet sure what I learned from it or would take with me if I chose to start or be in another group.
        SilverClawStudio on Facebook


        • #5
          I had a social Pagan group that ended. this was years ago. A few trolls came in and since it was a public group, they were able to cause trouble. Before we knew it, most of the rest of us didn't want to go to the get-togethers, because we didn't want to listen and live with the dwama that these few brought in.
          Then eventually the trolls found themselves alone and the rest of us had withdrawn away.
          We later started gathering again occasionally, without the troublemakers, and then I moved away. They still get together, though.

          The entire first cycle went for about three years. Groups end, its a part of the entire cycle of group existence. It hurts, but if its done with a means to create closure, it usually doesn't cause a lot of angst - the problem is that closure is hard to attain sometimes.
          Each man performs his service to the Holy according to what he is, not according to what he is not; after all, the sacrifice must not surpass the proper measure of the worshiper. - Iamblichus


          • #6
            Cheddarsox, you pretty much said it, I think.

            The pagan group I used to run in college died out after I left. It alternately dies and then is resurrected and has done so for at least ten years. That, I think, doesn't need a resolute close, because it functions well enough that way.

            But I've been part of another group that "fizzled out"... and I honestly think that it would be a lot easier on everyone to have some closure. It still technically exists, but just never meets... I understand it's hard, because it really is family there, and some feel like to say that the group is ended would mean that the family connection is ended... but that's not true, I don't think. You can still be family while acknowledging that the structure which brought you together has died. I don't know. I think closure is a good thing.
            Before you accuse someone of LYING, please read this first.