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  • HP burn out

    is anyone else having problems with burn out..
    I think after so many years I am getting tired..
    how can you deal with it..
    should you shut down the "coven"
    sometimes I 'd rather take the easy way out
    it is soo hard to deal with so many...and it keeps growing some how
    but I get so tired..
    I know they depend on me..
    but..Gods...
    when do they go out on their own
    do I need to push them out of the nest?...
    at times I really want to..

    sometimes I feel like a adult baby sitter
    Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


    Advanced Paganism, Meditation
    and Books Forum Guide
    and also a writer for MW Magazine

    Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


    :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

    Its your life..live it as you like








    myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

    my covens site
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/



  • #2


    When the coven begins to drain you rather than nourish it's time to reassess what's going on.

    Can you call a 3 or 6 month hiatus for yourself and allow other to lead the group? Is there a Priestess whom you could train up to help you for such a cause? Anyone who is ready to take up and experience the mantle? If not, perhaps just calling a hiatus for personal reflection is not without merit.

    Sometimes we all need to get away and recoup. Take time out for yourself and reestablish your grounding and connection with the divine in your own right for your own purpose and really invest in you. Or even just to go "Be" anything so long as it's just for you on your terms.

    I go back an forth frequently between leading, following, and solitary life.





    "Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." --Mark Twain


    If having a deep disdain for entertaining the cerebrally challenged in politics makes one a bigot than the Queen Bigot am I. :crown:


    If you search for the laws of harmony, you will find knowledge
    ~temple wall in Luxor~




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    • #3
      Originally posted by Astara Seague View Post
      is anyone else having problems with burn out..
      I think after so many years I am getting tired..
      how can you deal with it..
      should you shut down the "coven"
      sometimes I 'd rather take the easy way out
      it is soo hard to deal with so many...and it keeps growing some how
      but I get so tired..
      I know they depend on me..
      but..Gods...
      when do they go out on their own
      do I need to push them out of the nest?...
      at times I really want to..

      sometimes I feel like a adult baby sitter

      ((hugs))

      I imagine it is difficult, you are almost raising another family.
      Is there someone you feel could lead and teach?
      Could you take a step back as executive HP and mentor someone into your role, to deal with the more mundane aspects, and your role become mainly ceremonial w/o all the organizing of things?

      There is no reason you should not take a break or a haitus.
      Health&Beauty & Sports Forum Guide

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      • #4
        well I do have an apprentice..Im just not sure if she can handle it

        I want to take a break but I feel so obligated
        Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


        Advanced Paganism, Meditation
        and Books Forum Guide
        and also a writer for MW Magazine

        Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


        :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

        Its your life..live it as you like








        myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

        my covens site
        http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/


        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Astara Seague View Post
          well I do have an apprentice..Im just not sure if she can handle it

          I want to take a break but I feel so obligated
          Do you think she's prepared to help you in the capacity you require? What I mean is can she be taught more to be prepared to handle or is this a case of lack of experience over all? Are you prepared to guide her to more of a leadership role?





          "Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." --Mark Twain


          If having a deep disdain for entertaining the cerebrally challenged in politics makes one a bigot than the Queen Bigot am I. :crown:


          If you search for the laws of harmony, you will find knowledge
          ~temple wall in Luxor~




          Comment


          • #6
            Actuallay I should try..
            she has been studying with me since 2002
            she has alot of knowledge..she has been a helper to me and to our coven for awhile now

            but.. I feel Im kind of letting the others down...
            they drain me so much sometimes..
            I am physically ill sometimes because of it..
            maybe it is just me..maybe I am just too old to deal with it all
            Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


            Advanced Paganism, Meditation
            and Books Forum Guide
            and also a writer for MW Magazine

            Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


            :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

            Its your life..live it as you like








            myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

            my covens site
            http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/


            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Astara Seague View Post
              Actuallay I should try..
              she has been studying with me since 2002
              she has alot of knowledge..she has been a helper to me and to our coven for awhile now

              but.. I feel Im kind of letting the others down...
              they drain me so much sometimes..
              I am physically ill sometimes because of it..
              maybe it is just me..maybe I am just too old to deal with it all
              Burn out has more to do with others expectations of you (and maybe your own expectations for yourself) than with how old you are. Sounds like it's time for a break - at least from full-time full-out responsibility. I agree that it's time (perhaps past time) to delegate and let others take on more responsibility. I know that can be hard, my own group simply refuses to get together if I don't organize it and can't be there. Gah. And there is one couple that together could do just as well as I'm doing, or even better. Maybe they just don't want the responsibility? Good luck delegating! :uhhuhuh:
              ____________
              If you make a customer happy, he'll tell 3 other people.
              If he's not happy, he'll tell 20 others.



              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Lunacie View Post
                Burn out has more to do with others expectations of you (and maybe your own expectations for yourself) than with how old you are. Sounds like it's time for a break - at least from full-time full-out responsibility. I agree that it's time (perhaps past time) to delegate and let others take on more responsibility. I know that can be hard, my own group simply refuses to get together if I don't organize it and can't be there. Gah. And there is one couple that together could do just as well as I'm doing, or even better. Maybe they just don't want the responsibility? Good luck delegating! :uhhuhuh:
                Gods
                that is soo true
                Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


                Advanced Paganism, Meditation
                and Books Forum Guide
                and also a writer for MW Magazine

                Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


                :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

                Its your life..live it as you like








                myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

                my covens site
                http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/


                Comment


                • #9
                  I dont think very many people actually realize the responsibilty being a HP has
                  maybe I would have not even started the coven if I knew that:uhhuhuh:
                  Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


                  Advanced Paganism, Meditation
                  and Books Forum Guide
                  and also a writer for MW Magazine

                  Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


                  :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

                  Its your life..live it as you like








                  myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

                  my covens site
                  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    its so much easier to be solitary
                    Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


                    Advanced Paganism, Meditation
                    and Books Forum Guide
                    and also a writer for MW Magazine

                    Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


                    :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

                    Its your life..live it as you like








                    myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

                    my covens site
                    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/


                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have soooooooooooooooooooo been where you are. What did I do...I took a break and let others do things. There are times where I have just absolutely hit the wall and could not do even one more little thing.

                      People stepped up when I said that and offered to do ritual, etc. If you tell them, honestly they'll step up. At least, it's been that way in my experience. When I flat out stated, y'all help or no rituals or classes for a least a month, they came forward and found that they enjoyed taking that larger step.

                      A burnt out HPs does no one any good. Take time to recharge and you'll find you come back better (and you won't have to do it all anymore either--you'll have helpers)

                      I KNEW what I was getting into, I'd read CovenCraft by AmberK. I think that should be required reading for all HP/HPs before taking on that role.

                      JMO, however and YMMV

                      Elise
                      *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

                      Resident Beotch


                      It seems some folks confuse "secrets" with Mysteries.
                      The Mysteries aren't secret.
                      They are there for whoever wishes to seek them out.
                      There just aren't any shortcuts.

                      That's the Secret.

                      Don't ask Life to polish you into a jewel and then complain about all the rough treatment!

                      If you're talking shit behind my back - then you're close enough to kiss my ass.


                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Astara Seague View Post
                        is anyone else having problems with burn out..
                        I think after so many years I am getting tired..
                        how can you deal with it..
                        should you shut down the "coven"
                        sometimes I 'd rather take the easy way out
                        it is soo hard to deal with so many...and it keeps growing some how
                        but I get so tired..
                        I know they depend on me..
                        but..Gods...
                        when do they go out on their own
                        do I need to push them out of the nest?...
                        at times I really want to..

                        sometimes I feel like a adult baby sitter
                        That was me about four years ago and I did push them out of the nest. Called the whole group together and informed them that I was stepping down as HP. If they wanted the coven to keep going it was their turn to run it. I had taught them all I could and needed to devote extra time to personal matters. It continued for about a year after I left, then disbanded.

                        Life happens.
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                        Some witches are just real mothers - like me.
                        You cannot carve a beautiful sculpture in stone with loving strokes.
                        It takes a hammer, a chisel, and a lot of aggression that needs converted.
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                        • #13
                          well i would support anything that you decided to do...
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                          • #14
                            Some ideas:

                            - Sit down and figure out exactly which bits are burning you out. Sometimes it's only some parts of the role, not everything. (For example, maybe what would realy help you would be not having to be responsible for getting everything set up and cleaned up for ritual, and cutting back some on the number of times you get together as a group. If that's the case, disbanding the group doesn't make sense, because those are pretty easy changes to consider.)

                            - Talk with the woman who's been helping you since 2002. Ask her for her ideas. Don't say "I want to dump this all in your lap", but "How do we make this better?" She may have some great ideas you haven't considered, or can suggest things that take the pressure off you, either temporarily or long-term.

                            - Once you two have talked, sit down with the rest of the group and share your ideas. Make it clear what you can't continue, and what you can be flexible on. So, for example, you might say "The grunt work of cleaning and setting up every time you come over for group work is really getting to me, and I'm feeling like I never have time for my own life because people are calling all the time. So, instead, to continue, we need to solve the first problem by sharing more of the set-up work. In the second case, I'm going to be available on Wednesdays for conversation, but otherwise, unless it's an absolute emergency (like going to the hospital), it should wait until the next scheduled gathering. "

                            Or whatever it is that's the issue. If the issue is that you just need some time off to recover, then maybe you say "X and I have talked, and she's going to take over for 3 months to give me a chance to recover a bit. During that time, you'll have ritual together, but you'll be expected to contribute to planning and making them happen more than we have right now. And we'll be doing one gathering a month outside of that, rather than Y number we're doing now."

                            Again, giving as much feedback into the process as you can helps - it'll help people feel like they *should* be involved and take on more, rather than just dictating from the top down.

                            Then, go take your free time and do good things with it. (Sleeping counts as 'good things' in my book.)

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                            • #15
                              all good ideas and thank you
                              it seems for some reason it happens to me about once a year..
                              I always get through it though..
                              Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't


                              Advanced Paganism, Meditation
                              and Books Forum Guide
                              and also a writer for MW Magazine

                              Serenity is not freedom from the storm..it is peace during the storm


                              :fpraise: many thanks to Patriciaj for great banner

                              Its your life..live it as you like








                              myspace.com/Mydnitejazmine

                              my covens site
                              http://groups.yahoo.com/group/archaic_silvermoon/


                              Comment

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