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  • #16
    Out of curiousity, Astara - is it the same time most years? When that happens to me, I usually start looking at patterns.

    I'm a school librarian, so there are some times in my work life that are especially busy. I know not to plan lots of extra group/religious stuff at those times, and to make sure I plan plenty of extra recovery time for myself.

    Worth keeping an eye on, at least!

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    • #17
      Astara- you weren't kidding when you said that many people don't realize the amount of responsibility the role of HPS entails. I'm dealing with something similar.

      One of my main problems is that I tend to expect to have to do it all myself, when the members of my coven would be more than happy to help, I just need to ask. I also feel as though I should be able to handle it all- I tend to put some serious pressure on myself.

      And so I DO delegate, but not until the week or so before an event when people ask if they can help. I need to be pro-active and ask THEM to help early in the planning process. I feel as though if *I* don't do it, it won't get done. And thats not true. It just won't get done in the way I'd like. But nothing is wrong with that. That's what I'm dealing with. Now that I yapped about my problems...

      My suggestion is to explain your feelings and then break up your ritual structure and assign parts to different members, and give some guidance. Person A- your write and read the statement of intent- please include some of the lore of the sabbat and how it might tie into our center activity of wish magic. Person B- please handle the meditation- you may want to write a guided meditation. Person C- please pick up the cakes and ale- please make sure that they are Vegan- try trader joes. That's what I'm doing. If they aren't used to contributing very much, guidance will really help them- just try to assign parts according to their strengths.

      I, too have thought about dissolving my group many times- we've been all the way down to two members before, and right now we are having some communication problems. I've had so many great experiences within my group in between these times, that now that I realize thats a permanent solution to a temporary problem (HPS burnout).
      Ivy Artemisia
      Twilight Spiral Coven [Site | Facebook]
      Hearth and Hedgerow [Site | Etsy Shop]

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Ivy Artemisia View Post
        Astara- you weren't kidding when you said that many people don't realize the amount of responsibility the role of HPS entails. I'm dealing with something similar.

        One of my main problems is that I tend to expect to have to do it all myself, when the members of my coven would be more than happy to help, I just need to ask. I also feel as though I should be able to handle it all- I tend to put some serious pressure on myself.

        And so I DO delegate, but not until the week or so before an event when people ask if they can help. I need to be pro-active and ask THEM to help early in the planning process. I feel as though if *I* don't do it, it won't get done. And thats not true. It just won't get done in the way I'd like. But nothing is wrong with that. That's what I'm dealing with. Now that I yapped about my problems...

        My suggestion is to explain your feelings and then break up your ritual structure and assign parts to different members, and give some guidance. Person A- your write and read the statement of intent- please include some of the lore of the sabbat and how it might tie into our center activity of wish magic. Person B- please handle the meditation- you may want to write a guided meditation. Person C- please pick up the cakes and ale- please make sure that they are Vegan- try trader joes. That's what I'm doing. If they aren't used to contributing very much, guidance will really help them- just try to assign parts according to their strengths.

        I, too have thought about dissolving my group many times- we've been all the way down to two members before, and right now we are having some communication problems. I've had so many great experiences within my group in between these times, that now that I realize thats a permanent solution to a temporary problem (HPS burnout).
        Very interesting. We've always taken turns handling the whole shebang so that it feels like it all melds together. It sounds like it works rather well for your group to divide the ritual pieces among the members. I'd like to give that a try and see how it goes.
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        • #19
          Originally posted by Ivy Artemisia View Post
          And so I DO delegate, but not until the week or so before an event when people ask if they can help. I need to be pro-active and ask THEM to help early in the planning process. I feel as though if *I* don't do it, it won't get done. And thats not true. It just won't get done in the way I'd like. But nothing is wrong with that. That's what I'm dealing with. Now that I yapped about my problems...
          I love this discussion of different ways to delegate. It's definitely worth looking at all the possible options, and figuring out which work.

          Personally, last minute requests (within 3-5 days of the ritual) drive me batty if they involve any significant amount of time and attention - I lead a busy life, and try to live efficiently, so I might already have done my errands for that week (so picking up something else means an extra stop) or may already be heavily scheduled between then and the event. A head's up that something's coming my way can be really helpful, even if someone doesn't have all the details of what's needed yet.

          Like Lunacie, most of my experience with ritual planning is someone taking responsibility for the entire ritual. In the group I trained in, that rotated among the active initiates (though people could request specific months if they had something special in mind.)

          Since our trad uses a consistent circle set-up and take-down, most of what people had to prepare was the explanation (anything people needed to know before coming - what to bring or think about), the welcome (the formal ritual statement explaining what we're going to be doing) and whatever the ritual working was (meditation, magical work, etc.)

          My HPS strongly preferred that things get submitted a week in advance (or at least a discussion of what people had in mind) so that if there were any issues, they could be fixed ahead of time, which also helped (she had a head's up if she was going to need to pull something out of thin air, for example.)

          She also kept an archive of past rituals that were worth doing again (and generally easy to arrange to do - didn't require lots of unusual supplies or anything), so that if a catastrophe happened and the planned stuff wasn't going to work, we didn't have to start from square one.

          All of that helped reduce strain and stress.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Lunacie View Post
            Very interesting. We've always taken turns handling the whole shebang so that it feels like it all melds together. It sounds like it works rather well for your group to divide the ritual pieces among the members. I'd like to give that a try and see how it goes.
            At times, in our group people will take the helm for the entire ritual- its part of our training (and of course, there are many times when its all me)... but when it's not- I've found that the other sisters really enjoy contributing more- not just the ideas and brainstorming, but the actual ritual. I find that it not only helps me, but also helps them- plus we are going to be rotating some ritual roles (our quarters, etc always are the same) next month. I've also found that distributing the roles and getting others involved prevents it from becoming the HPS show.

            We actually started this for our open circles, and it was so successful that weve continued it. We're lucky in that most of our sisters have practiced in some way for at least 10 years, and we're a relatively young group- late twenties, early thirties right now.

            Ive found that its all about the transitions, when divying the parts up. I tend to usually do the statement of purpose/intent and lead into whatever the ritual center is, and I almost always have all of the ritual parts beforehand, so I can write transitions that are smooth. Other than that, we have bells and things that precede parts of our circle. As our circle is Wiccan, we are structured and usually do things in the same order everytime, so it still feels meldy.

            Originally posted by Jenett

            My HPS strongly preferred that things get submitted a week in advance (or at least a discussion of what people had in mind) so that if there were any issues, they could be fixed ahead of time, which also helped (she had a head's up if she was going to need to pull something out of thin air, for example.)

            She also kept an archive of past rituals that were worth doing again (and generally easy to arrange to do - didn't require lots of unusual supplies or anything), so that if a catastrophe happened and the planned stuff wasn't going to work, we didn't have to start from square one.

            All of that helped reduce strain and stress.
            We are going to be working a month in advance from now on. I'm thinking this will completely alleviate the stress felt as we sometimes need to scramble last minutes. Also, we have an archive/Book of Shadows accessible to all initiates of all of our rituals we've done in the past five years, as well as an archive of God and Goddess evocations used in past circles. This has REALLY helped in us a pinch.
            Ivy Artemisia
            Twilight Spiral Coven [Site | Facebook]
            Hearth and Hedgerow [Site | Etsy Shop]

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Jenett View Post
              Out of curiousity, Astara - is it the same time most years? When that happens to me, I usually start looking at patterns.

              I'm a school librarian, so there are some times in my work life that are especially busy. I know not to plan lots of extra group/religious stuff at those times, and to make sure I plan plenty of extra recovery time for myself.

              Worth keeping an eye on, at least!
              yes actually come to think on it usually right after Midsummers..
              that is rather interesting because Midsummers always seems to be the biggest thing next to Samhain that we have so its tons of work
              it is also like the gateway to summer travels and so forth so our numbers dwindle down to one or two and then I feel like Im wasting my time having any events
              thanks Jenett that makes alot of sense now
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