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What do HPs & HPSs appreciate?

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  • What do HPs & HPSs appreciate?

    As my title says.

    I was interested in learning how to show appreciation or how to help local leaders. I consider myself too young, too inexperienced, not knowledgeable enough, &c. to be a leader right now, but I've been reading articles on WitchVox, as well as threads here, and I'm afraid that sometimes the leaders in my area are not told or shown enough that they're respected and valued members of the community.

    There is one lady in particular I admire and respect very much, and I've taken (and am still taking) a few classes with her. She does moon circles every month at a pagan-ish store I'm a regular at, and she does tarot readings and such.

    There's a man that retired from the HP position, and I'm not sure where he is...but before he left, I wanted to make sure I left him some kind words, so I at least did that.

    I guess I just want to know how I can show these types of people, those that I see on a semi-regular basis, that they rule.

    Any ideas? I know kind, sincere words work, but I kinda wish there were more than that. Or something.
    Papi - R.I.P.
    I love you. Always.

  • #2
    Throw money.
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    National Association For Addressing Prejudice Against Jackasses (NAFAPAJ).
    Not all witches are love and light, nor are they all hate and darkness.
    Some witches are just real mothers - like me.
    You cannot carve a beautiful sculpture in stone with loving strokes.
    It takes a hammer, a chisel, and a lot of aggression that needs converted.
    I am aware of how nasty I come across.
    If others have the right and freedom to be sweetness and light,
    I have the right to be spit and vinegar.


    • #3
      Appreciation goes a long way - a quiet "You know, I wanted to say I really appreciate how much work and effort you put into X. I really love being here for them." is a lovely thing. Putting it on a card can make a nice thing for them to tuck away and look at when they're feeling frustrated.

      The other big one, especially for ongoing interactions, is to ask if you can help with something that's tedious and boring (setting up chairs, tidying up afterwards, etc.) Volunteers like this are beyond price to anyone who does group work, if they're reliable and available. (As a bonus to you, I've had some of my best conversations with people when I'm doing this kind of thing.)


      • #4
        Money and virgin sacrifices are always a good bet.

        or you could just spend time in the comunity and find out since it varies from person to person (except the money and virgin sacrifices, that's pretty much universal)
        "The word "natural" is completely meaningless! Everything is natural! Nature includes everything! It's not just trees and flowers! It's everything! A chemical company's toxic waste is completely natural! It's part of the nature! We're all part of nature! Everything is natural! Dog shit is natural! It's just not real good food!" George Carlin

        Drop acid, not bombs.

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        • #5
          a simple I appriciate what you do or you have helped me alot goes a long way
          I often wonder if anyone is learning anything or getting anything out of what I try so hard to do

          and offering to help them out once in awhile is nice too
          to me simple things go the longest way
          Being powerful is like being a lady If you have to tell people you are, you aren't

          Advanced Paganism, Meditation
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          and also a writer for MW Magazine

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          • #6
            I’m with the others- words of appreciation or positive feedback are really wonderful. Like Astara Seague, sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing is making any difference at all. I feel like this can sometimes lead to burnout, as it’s a lot of work to create and teach classes and/or coordinate and lead group circles. Without positive feedback or appreciation, it’s like throwing your line in the water and hoping a fish will bite, but not really knowing if there are any fish in the pond at all. With a few words of appreciation, it becomes clear that there are indeed fish in that pond. Like Jenett said, also volunteering to help clean up means a lot, too. Many of my classes are really hands-on, and that means a lot of set up and clean up. So, what might be a 2 hour class for a student, is really a 2.5-3 hour time block for me including set up and clean up- that’s not including creating handouts, making copies for everyone, etc.

            Teaching in our CoT here, I’ve received many words of praise and appreciation from my students, and that means much more to me than any amount of money and sacrificial virgins.
            Ivy Artemisia
            Twilight Spiral Coven [Site | Facebook]
            Hearth and Hedgerow [Site | Etsy Shop]


            • #7
              I was thinking on this some more, and I also wanted to add, that a thoughtful gift is also nice. I was mentoring someone online, and while talking about tools, mentioned that my boline was not very practical at all- and suggested that they do not get one like the one I had. As our mentoring tapered down, he sent me a boline- perfect for what I needed it for. It was very thoughtful. Also, keep in mind thoughtful does not equal expensive, either. Maybe a gift of nice candles, or something handmade. It might not seem like much, but it really warms the heart, knowing that someone cared enough to really think about you and mindfully choose something for you.
              Ivy Artemisia
              Twilight Spiral Coven [Site | Facebook]
              Hearth and Hedgerow [Site | Etsy Shop]


              • #8
                I like Ivy's idea of gifts, but I know a bunch of HPS and HPs who've found themselves with a pile of objects where the emotional connection is important, but the physical item is just taking up space and needing to be dusted, and isn't used often. It's particularly tricky for people who are trying to keep their home living space deliberately simple, as more people are trying these days.

                My own take on it is that physical tokens are nice, but it's important to be really sure it's *exactly* what they want (as it was in Ivy's case) or will be useful, not just "Ooh, here's a crystal I thought you might really like." where the person might already have a pile of that crystal in a drawer at home.

                Good candles are pretty reliable. Food (assuming you get something the person likes) is a good bet. Ritual bath salts, interesting things to drink (alcoholic and non), music, or books can all be an option once you know them well enough to know their preferences and to avoid anything like allergies or things they can't eat/drink/whatever.

                For example, if you know a HPS always has tea for people who drop by, it'd be totally great to get her some cookies that'd keep for a while, or a range of interesting teas to share with people who stop in. But that might not be a good fit for someone who either doesn't work that way, or who has a bunch of allergies, unless you check ingredients carefully.


                • #9
                  I liked handcrafting special joo-joo as a sign of affection and appreciation.

                  I enjoy receiving tokens as well, whether they be words, hugs, attention in the form of good conversation, trinkets, flowers or a potted herb, stones, books, and my personal fave...chocolate and wine.

                  "Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." --Mark Twain

                  If having a deep disdain for entertaining the cerebrally challenged in politics makes one a bigot than the Queen Bigot am I. :crown:

                  If you search for the laws of harmony, you will find knowledge
                  ~temple wall in Luxor~


                  • #10
                    Oh my god, RAGE. I had typed this lovely, long response, and when I went to click, "Post Quick Reply," the page moved up because of some appearance/disappearance of an ad. Aaaaaaargh!!! Let me try to type this up. Again.

                    First, thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I really appreciate them. They've given me a couple of ideas (or, perhaps, the bravery to carry them out -- I'm a bit shy when it comes to this area, I guess).

                    She isn't very receptive towards money, so that's kinda out of it. (She's not too hot on virgin sacrifices either. )

                    Before a class I took with her tonight (though I've taken a few and will continue to take more), I was talking with a new girl who asked about the classes and instructor. I told her, fairly quickly, that one of the things I tend to say about Kim (the HPS/teacher/Elder here) is, "She is amazing." (There is also the variation: "Her job is being amazing.") Kim overheard me and said that was very sweet and seemed quite happy to hear it. And, as she kept hearing me discuss things Kim has done, still does, and probably will do, she joked that I should do TV commercials for her.

                    Later, during a relevant point, I made a note to tell her that my mom said hi, and that my mom always remembered Kim as "that nice lady who gave me flowers." Kim seemed tickled by that and also liked to hear that; said that was also sweet.

                    After the class, I took her aside and expressed my appreciation for her. I told her that I felt she was a fantastic HPS, and that she was a great instructor. I also "reminded" her that she's a valued member of the community, and that if she needs help with anything -- like setting stuff up or getting a ride somewhere -- I could help. She took some apparent joy in the words. She also responded to a couple of these with, "I know," but not in an arrogant, impatient, or other negative manner -- but in a warm, self-assured sort of way. She also said okay to my offers of help, and she said, "Don't worry. We'll be working together." (I'm not 100% clear on the meaning of this, but whatever it is, I'm open to it. )

                    I figure if she herself doesn't take money, I could try to donate some more than I usually do to the moon circle ... fund, or whatever it is. They sometimes put out the donation basket in the center of the room and allow people to toss in some money. I'm thinking about also donating a bottle of juice. (We always have alcohol and juice for drinks.)

                    As for gifts, I'm wary of giving her useless stuff, or giving her stuff she may lose. (Let's just say she's Libratastic and very right-brained.) I think a candle may be a nice gift, though, and I'm sure she'd find a use for it.

                    I'm hesitant of offering food or drink since I know she's diabetic. But, I do see her drinking Diet Pepsi fairly often, so I may buy her a bottle as a gift at some point.

                    Again, thanks to everyone for the responses. If you guys have any more comments, thoughts, ideas, &c. feel free to send them my way.
                    Papi - R.I.P.
                    I love you. Always.