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Totems turning into "monsters"?

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  • Totems turning into "monsters"?

    I had a really weird dream last night.

    I was in a dark place with people who are close to me. We were hiding behind a wall from enemies on the other side. One of the enemies said to me: "If you have too many dark thoughts.. your mind will become corrupted and this will happen." And suddenly, I saw a black image, a shadow appearing on another highlighted wall opposite me. Then this voice said: "These are your totems."
    The shadow evolved into a dark, screaming creature. I was really scared, kind of shocked, when I looked at it. People near me started screaming at the frightening sight of my "totem". I just looked at it and thought "is this an illusion or is it real?"
    The "dark" totem kind of looked like a hooded demon or a "black mage" with hands resembling the paws of a wolf (one of my totems is a wolf) and it was holding a torch. If I remember correctly, it even had red eyes and looked very angry as if ready to attack.
    Then it disappeared and another totem emerged. It was a shadow on the wall again but looked a little different. I saw a vulture (yes, that too is one of my totems) and it wasn't as scary as the other one because my vulture has always been somewhat intimidating. But someone commented on it, saying: "Your totems are quite dark and monstrous."
    Then I became worried and said something about my mind being corrupted for having such totems resulting from dark thoughts or feelings. I said: "My true colour is probably a dark red or something similar now.."
    But my best friend interrupted me and said: "No! It's not. Your true colour is like light, it's iridescent." And then I woke up.

    The scary thing is that I really have been having these dark thoughts. Actually, it's not just that but it's more like me being a little lost lately.. A few people had really hurt me in the past and I guess my soul just hasn't forgotten yet. The pain is still there.

    So, could this be a a sign of warning from my totems that I should let go? Could it be that my current emotional state is affecting my familiars? Any ideas?

    Thanks,
    ~Susanna

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    Faith is easy -- until the moment you actually need it.

    "Since when are facts subjective?" - Athena_Nadine

    "Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all convictions, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity."

    – W.B. Yeats, "The Second Coming"

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